


Welcome... Now go away.

by UmbrielBrechen



Category: South Park
Genre: Bitchandemotionallydysfunctional!Tweek, Coffee Shops, Coffeeislife, Dysfunctional Family, Dysfunctional Relationships, F/M, Icecreamislife, M/M, Milkshakesislife, Who will Clyde choose?, Who will Stan choose?, Who will Wendy choose?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2018-09-27 08:16:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 24,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9984800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UmbrielBrechen/pseuds/UmbrielBrechen
Summary: After an unfortunate event in Tweek and Craig's friendship, Tweek reverts to a snarky shut in that works at Harbucks all day long. Craig, upset at his mistakes, is on a mission to make amends with his friend, and maybe take it a little farther...





	1. Delicate and Sour

Chapter 1

Last Year-  
It’s just the same thing over and over again in South Park, and while I think routine is boring, I need it to stay sane. Wake up, take a shower, eat breakfast, go to school, hang out with Craig, sleep, and the cycle repeats itself. I don’t see my parents anymore they ran off to expand with the CEO of Harbucks. I run the Harbucks in town, even though I don’t legally own it. I don’t care about any of that though, what matters is that I see the one person I care about in my life.  
“Tweekers, are you listening to me?” I look over to Craig, his kept in his Chullo hat, not the one that he usually wears, but the one he wore when he and Stan’s gang got shipped to Peru. I love that hat on him. Craig, coffee, and the snow, the three things that make me happy.  
“Yeah, what’s up?” I say with a smile. His eyes are still fixed to Red Racer, but his face starts to turn red and he tries his best not to look at me.  
“Do you-” Before Craig could say anything else, the door swung open and Clyde, Token, and Stan’s gang poured into my house with chips and drinks. “Oh shit, it’s movie night!” Craig yelled.  
“Fuck yeah, dude! How can you forget, it’s tradition!” Clyde laughed, dropping himself between Craig and I.  
“I’m choosing the movie!” Kyle yells, pouring chips into a bowl and handing it to Kenny.  
“What!?” Cartman looks at Kyle in disgust and stuffed chips into his mouth. “You can’t choose the movie! You’ll probably just choose something faggy like Eat, Pray, Love!” Kyle threw a chip at Cartman and shook his head.  
“Guys, shut up!” Stan yells turning on the television, “It’s my turn to choose the movie! And I say we watch-”  
“Red Racer.” Craig cuts him off with his nasally voice.  
“What? No, only you want to watch Red Racer, Craig. I was thinking something more along the lines of The Exorcist!” My eyes widen and I begin to shake.  
“NO!” Fuck my life I hate scary movies! Cartman sighs and stands up, putting his drink in the cupholder and looks at everyone.  
“Ok fine then, let’s all vote. Everyone for The Exorcist raise your hand.” Unexpectedly, everyone raises their hand but me. Token shrugs and pats me on the back.  
“Sorry Tweek, outvoted again. Don’t worry, it’s not even that scary to begin with”  
“It’s ok, I’m used to it.” I lean back and hug a pillow next to me, getting ready to witness whatever horror will show up on the screen. Craig leans in and whispers in my ear,  
“I’ll ask you later.” I roll my eyes and close them. As much as it pains me to say this, but I’m not close to any of these guys, well, besides Craig. If they heard that, they would probably deny it out of pity, but I know the truth, and to be honest, it kind of hurts knowing that you can be surrounded by all these people, but only knowing one of them. 

This Year-  
My alarm rings, waking me up from my beautiful slumber. I open my eyes, and turn my alarm off. Another day, another night to get by I guess since I’m not dead, I guess I’ll get my day started. I turn on the shower and open my phone. 42 new messages. I swipe it away from my view and turn on Spotify at full blast. It isn’t like anyone else lives here but me to wake up from my music.  
The shower is fast, breakfast is fast, getting dressed is fast, and my twitching is fast, but it doesn’t like it matters, it’s just routine, just get by, get by the day and try not to go insane from all the bullshit in the world and the hell hole I stare at everyday. 

The snow is probably the only routine thing I see everyday that doesn’t tick me off. It’s soft, delicate, and even though it just makes my shaking worst, it’s still beautiful, unlike everything else, unlike me. Get through school and go to work, don’t make a big deal out of it. Everything bores me, ticks me off, and has no significance to me now. Graduate and get the hell out of here, I tell myself everyday, something to keep me alive, something to keep me going. It’s not like there’s anyone else here that means anything to me anymore.  
I stop walking once I reach the bus stop. Soon, I’m going to be surrounded by people, I need to mentally prepare for that. I inhale the cold air and let it freeze my body. I love the cold. I put my headphones in and play some classical music to try to calm me down. Oh wait, nothing can calm me down anymore.  
Through the sounds of pianos and violins, I hear Stan, Kyle and Kenny laugh about something stupid. I roll my eyes and raise the volume on my phone, but I can still hear them. I open my eyes, and see Kenny staring at me. I’ve always hated Kenny and his pretty boy face. I glare at him with my hideous eyes, and Kenny shifts uncomfortably and hides behind Kyle.  
“Kenny, what the hell?” I hear him ask. Stan looks at me wide eyed and pokes Kyle, and the Jew stares at me in horror. The three of them take a couple steps away from me and start chatting again, but more silent, though I can hear them. At least they got the damn memo. Yeah you fuckers, the mentally damaged guy will whip his chainsaw out and cut you limb to limb and force your loved ones to eat you after I turn your flesh into a cupcake. I’ve heard that one ten times, no wait- thirteen, times. I forgot the time when Bebe was talking shit about me behind my back, literally, and the time I caught Mr. Garrison talking about me when I was late to class. I fucking hate everyone. 

First period rolls by, Second period is slow, Third period is shit, Fourth period is slow and shit, and now I’m at lunch, by myself, just the way I like it. The back of the school is mine now, the goth kids ran off somewhere else because I scare them or whatever. I sip my coffee to the bottom of the thermos, and I grab my second thermos and drink that till I’m halfway done with the drink, and sigh at the warmness at it. Snow and Coffee, the only two things I love in this world. I close my eyes and sink into the snow, and almost smile. Almost. I open my eyes and see Craig walking with Clyde and Token. The three of them make eye contact with me and walk faster. Unsurprisingly, Craig waves them off and walks towards me. Fuck. My. Life. Why can’t I just be left alone? Craig takes his hands out of his pocket and stands in front of me. His face is sad, but I like it that way.  
“Hey Tweekers.”  
“You. Aren’t. Aloud. To. Call- NGH!. Me. That. Anymore.” I growl. Craig nods and sits next to me, but I get up and stand in front of me.  
“Am I not aloud to sit next to you also?” He frowns.  
“Nngh! N-no.”  
“Ok.” He whispers.  
“What d-do you w-want NGH! With me?” I say.  
“I… Did you get my messages?”  
“All 42 of them.”  
“Oh. Did you read them?”  
“N-n-NGH! No.”  
“Oh.”  
“Yeah, oh- NGH!” Craig twiddles his thumbs and looks up at me.  
“How have you been?”  
“Why do you care?”  
“I… I just do.” He looks at me and frowns more, twiddling his thumbs, hoping to make some sort of conversation with me. I sigh and gulp the rest of my coffee. When is he going to realize that I don’t give a shit about him anymore?  
“Look at my face and you’ll- NGH! -get your answer.” He studies my face, my hair, my eyes, the bags under my eyes, the bags under my bags, the dark circles, the scar on the right side of my face, everything.  
“I… I see.”  
“Yeah, you see. Since you saw the freakshow, you can go now.” Craig gets up and looks at me with the frown. Fuck, is he going to cry again?  
“When does Harbucks open?” Fuck, I can’t get rid of this guy.  
“It opens when I open it.” I say sharply.  
“Can… Can I get a time please?”  
“After school, 3:30.” Craig nods, and walks off, but turns around again and looks me in the eyes.  
“How’s your parents?”  
“Not in town. For years.”  
“Oh…”  
“Yeah ‘oh’, now go away.” Craig nods and walks off.  
“See you later, Tweeker- Tweek.”  
“Yeah, get out of here already.” I sit back down on the snow and gulp down the rest of my coffee. I love being alone.


	2. Texts and Second Chances

Last year-  
Opening Harbucks everyday always makes me happy, it makes me feel like I’m actually doing something with my life, something to look forward to. I open the blinds and switch the closed sign to open. In fact, I think that Craig and Harbucks are the only reason why my ticking stopped, but I’m probably just kidding myself. Ticking never really stops, but oh well.  
It’s 5 PM and the store’s open for business. I hate being alone, I feel like I’m losing my mind, but Craig and the guys always stops by for a drink. I remember everyone’s drinks, Craig doesn’t really like coffee, so I just give him a Chai Tea. Clyde gets a Mocha Tesora and Token gets… Token’s one of those people that’s really specific about their drink.  
“Philharmonic, Three ice cubes, one half cup of milk, with vanilla sweetener.” I swear to god, each time he orders I lose track of everything. I know it’s not that much to remember, but it’s me that we’re talking about! 

I close my eyes and inhale the sweet scent of coffee, everything is so tranquil. Snow, coffee, Craig. Only thing that keeps me alive. Before I can doze off into bliss and tranquility, my phone rings, and I jump in surprise and grab my phone out of my pocket. I unlock my phone and get ready to deal with whatever these people want with me.  
“Dad?”  
“Hey Tweek! How are you doing?” Great, I have to deal with these guys now…  
“I”m good, how are-”  
“We’re all good here in Italy, Tweek! We’re having the time of our lives!”  
“Oh that’s good dad, but when are you coming ho-”  
“We’re having a great time Tweek! Don’t worry about us, we’ll be alright!”  
“Sweetheart, get off the phone and have more wine!” I hear mom yell in the background.  
“Alright, coming sweety! Bye son!”  
“But dad!” Dad hangs up on me, leaving me alone, once more to my thoughts. It’s only been two weeks, they’re probably all stressed out from work, they need this. All I have to do wait it all out until they come home, right? I curse to myself in silence as I stare at the two customers type on their laptops in silence. 

It isn’t long until the guys come over for their daily drink.  
“Hey Tweek!” Clyde waves at me with a smile and leans across the counter. “The usual.” I silently sigh to myself and try to smile as I make their drinks. “You can spot me right? He says with a forced smile. I force a smile onto myself too, and nod to him.  
“Y-yeah, that’s what friends are for, right?” I proceed to make everyone’s drink, and Craig sits at the counter in front of me.  
“Want to hang out after your shift?”  
“Sure. What would we do?”  
“Watch Red Racer and get high.”  
“Craig, you know that just makes my ticking worse.”  
“I know, but you’ve only done it once. Don’t be a pussy.”  
“Yeah, and now that I know that you guys record me while I’m high and post it on Facebook, I won’t do it anymore!” I give everyone their drinks, and Clyde and Token hightail their asses away. Once again, not paying. Craig flips them off goodbye and he turns back to me.  
“So are you down?” I give Craig his drink and stare at him. God, how did I ever get to be friends with someone as cool as him?  
“I guess, but I’m only going to watch, you can get high all you want!”  
“How come you don’t like doing it with me? You know I won’t do anything to you.”  
“Like I said, I know the health risks, but I don’t care what other people do.” Craig sips his drink and stares at me in the eyes. God, don’t look at me like that! I know his face is still expressionless, but he’s just so… Perfect.  
“Fine. Thanks Tweekers.” Craig gets off of his chair and waves me goodbye. Before he walks away, he turns around and looks at me. “Are you sure everything’s ok here?” I nod to him, and he leaves the cafe. Before the door can close, another customer walks in.  
“Welcome to Harbucks…” 

This year-

Another day, another moment of seeing people. I hear my alarm ring, and I turn it off. Get into the shower, slip into some clothes, eat breakfast, and stay in the cafe all day long. Even with all the shit that goes on in the world, good and bad, here I am, in the middle of nowhere in Colorado. Surrounded by people. I hate people. I hate everyone. Fuck my life.

Park High is always like a wasteland, and I’m always treading through it. People stare at me, and don’t even look me in the eyes because I scare them. I never did anything wrong though. I did nothing wrong. I did nothing wrong, right? I don’t think I did anything wrong at least.  
I’m not good at any subjects, but I’m not terrible either. C’s get degrees after all, and I’m probably staying in South Park no matter what.  
The small and silent stomps of my footsteps echoes in the halls, and people stare and quickly move out of my way. I feel like I’m from some dumb movie. I look up and the first person I see is Red, she takes one look at me and scampers off. Jimmy runs past me as I walk past him, and Wendy and Bebe pretend not to notice me. Fuck, they just have to be standing at my locker. I walk towards them, and they know I’m walking to them. Bebe tenses up, and Wendy coughs a bit.  
“Excuse- NGH! - me, you’re in my way.” Wendy looks me in the eyes, and I can tell I’m scaring her. I don’t even need to try, my eyes do all the work.  
“Tweek!” Bebe gasps. “Oh! There’s something we wanted to ask you.”  
“What the hell do you want from me?”  
“Um…” I stare into Bebe’s eyes, unintentionally scaring her, but that’s what everyone thinks of me. They’re all scared of me. “I forgot!”  
“Is that it?” Both girls shake their head.  
“Good… Now go away.”  
“Sorry Tweek!” Wendy grabs Bebe’s hand and runs away from me. I roll my eyes, and get my stuff from my locker. Great, it smells like Victoria’s secret perfume now. I quickly conceal the damn scent by chugging down at least half of the coffee in my thermos. As I chug my coffee, I see someone with a blue chullo hat next to me with my peripheral vision.  
“You shouldn’t drink too much coffee.” I roll my eyes at Craig’s nasally voice. “You guys can go, don’t worry.” I burp loudly and wipe my mouth. I see Clyde and Token scurry away from me. “Hi Tweekers.” This fucker! Does he ever listen?!  
“What the hell Craig! Do I need to repeat myself?!” Craig puts his hands up in defence and bites his lower lip.  
“No. Calm down Tweek.”  
“Screw you! Don’t tell me to calm down!” Don’t tell me how to live my life!  
“Ok, ok! God!” Craig takes his stupid hat off and runs his hands through his stupid hair. “Look, how many times do we have to say sorry?”  
“You don’t-NGH!- get it do you? You just don’t do something like that in front of people! You can’t just say sorry for taking something away from me!”  
“Tweek, you’re making a scene right now, calm down.” I open my thermos and gulp down the rest of my coffee before resuming my yelling.  
“You know what Craig? Fuck- NGH! -you. Go away.”  
“No.”  
“Why the fuck not?!” Craig stares at my eyes and blinks. He isn’t scared. Craig is never scared.  
“Because I miss you.”  
“N- NGH!- No you don’t! No one misses me! No one even cared about me until-”  
“Until what, Tweek?” He stares at me, like he knows everything, like he thinks he’s right. “I’m tired of being upset Tweek. I’m not the one being an ass to you, everyone else is, why can’t we be friends again? What do you want me to do to make you talk to me?”  
“Screw you! We’re talking right now!”  
“Ok, fine.” I slam my locker shut and walk away from Craig. “I’m stopping by the cafe!”  
“Yeah, you do that!” 

Once again, it’s 5PM at the cafe, and it’s running pretty slow. I sit down on a stool and drink cups of coffee after another. I take out my laptop and do some work. Another damn report, another assignment to wing. It’s quiet, and that means safety, and safeness to me means happiness. I chug my tesora and sigh in bliss. Coffee and Snow, that’s all I need. I look at my phone, and unlike the usual call from my dad, it’s just a series of drunk text messages. I don’t bother to read it though, it’ll just make me even more angry, but I find myself looking at them anyway.

Dad: Haaaaaayyyyy Twerk, it’s dad!

Dad: Juhdut wernterd to l3ty ujk NOWIer haviingz a gggr8ate thymme. 

Dad: Hi Tweek! It’s mom, we aren’t going to be home for a while, and we thought that it would be a good idea for you to invite one of your friends over to work with you! It must be so stressful working there by yourself, so feel free to hire one of your little friends!

I don’t have friends, and I’m fine on my own. I swipe the messages away and don’t even bother to respond. Where are they now? Italy? Paris? Doing “charity” work in some country in Africa? Fuck them. I drink another cup of coffee in disgust and let everything run down my throat, and even get some on my apron. I need more coffee. 

After going in the back to change my apron and making a cup of coffee for myself, I see Bebe and Wendy at the front, waiting for me. Wendy tries to smile at me with her damn perfect teeth and steps towards me.  
“Hey Tweek…” I get my notepad out of the drawer in the counter without looking, and grab a pen from behind my ear.  
“Welcome to Harbucks… How can I help you today?” Wendy and Bebe look at each other and nods.  
“We were wondering if you were hiring?” Wendy asks. Fuck. My. Life. I put down my pen and notepad, and stare into their eyes, trying to intimidate them.  
“Why can’t you- NGH! - go somewhere else?” Bebe checks her phone and puts it away,  
“Because no one else is hiring… And we’re both broke. Don’t ask why.” I tell myself not to help them, but a huge part of me says that I should, even if that would mean invading my sanctuary. I’m going to have to ask dad about wages and stuff, but I’m pretty sure I can set their times… And I’m going to have to train them.  
“Ok look,” Wendy says, “this was a bad idea. Sorry for disturbing you.” Wendy and Bebe begin to leave the cafe, but I know that I should help them.  
“When are you two- NGH! -available?” Bebe gasps in happiness and Wendy smiles.  
“Wait, really! I thought you hated everyone!” Bebe asks.  
“I do, now answer my question before I- NGH! -change my mind. When are you two available for training? We can figure out- NGH! -schedules and wages later, and give me your application for filing purposes.”  
“We can both do Saturday!”  
“Fine. Now- NGH! -go away.”  
“Wait, can we both get an Ambrosia Coffee of God, sweet and creamy?” Bebe asks, giving me her credit card.  
“Fine, hold on.” Both girls sat down in the corner and chatted amongst themselves. I turn around to make the coffee and dread the time that I would have to spend with them. Who knows, maybe I’ll like it, maybe I’ll hate it. I overhear the girls talking, and Bebe’s thinking about breaking up with Clyde and Wendy’s thinking about breaking up with Stan. Again. These girls need to get their shit together. I hear the door ring and I turn around with both girl’s drinks made. “Two Ambrosia Coffee of God.” I look at the door, and what a surprise, it’s Craig and Clyde. Token’s probably off doing some rich kid thing or something.  
“Welcome to Harbucks… How can I help you? I’m not spotting you, Clyde.” Also not a surprise, Clyde has tears running down his face.  
“I-I- SNIFF - I know, Tweek.” He takes a napkin from the dispenser and blows his nose. He hands Craig his wallet. “Mint Mojito, sweet and creamy. I’m spotting you this time, Craig.”  
“Thanks Clyde.” The cry baby runs off to the bathroom and Craig approaches the counter.  
“Hi, Tweekers.”  
“NGH! I hate you Craig!” Craig looks down in sadness and sighs.  
“Yeah I know. Can I have a small Mint Mojito, sweet and creamy, and a large Yerba Mate?” I take the twenty dollar bill and give him change. Wendy and Bebe get up to get their drink, and briefly say hi to Craig before sitting back down. Craig sits down at the counter, same as usual. Clyde comes back from the bathroom with red, irritated eyes, and sits next to Craig. I hand them both their drinks and begin to wash some dishes. Clyde leans against Craig’s shoulder and sobs silently, and Craig uncomfortably rubs his head. I can tell what Craig’s thinking, “stop crying, you fucker.” I’ve been around these guys enough times to know the silent bro conversation. 

Clyde: I think Bebe wants to break up with me.

Craig: Shit, dude, I’m sorry.

Clyde: It’s ok, I know it was going to happen eventually. 

Me: What is this bullshit, this is like the tenth time you got back together with him! 

Clyde: Stop being mean to everyone, Tweek!

Tweek: Screw you, assholes! Your drinks are ready, now go away!

“AHH!” I unexpectedly yell out loud. Wendy, Bebe, Clyde, and Craig stare at me, like I’m crazy. Screw you!  
“Ok.” Craig whispers silently. Clyde stops sobbing and transitions to sniffling, and then blows his nose.  
“You’re such a good person, Tweek. I’m sorry for being a bad friend.”  
“You were never- NGH! -my friend to begin with!” Clyde’s waterworks start again, and snot runs down his nose. I roll my eyes and continue to wash dishes. Craig stops petting Clyde and cracks his knuckles.  
“Clyde, stop crying.”  
“-Sniff!- Why does everyone hate me?!”  
“No one hates you, Clyde.”  
“O-ok…”  
“When are you two leaving?” I ask.  
“When does the cafe close?”  
“7:30.”  
“Then we’re leaving at 7:29.” Fuck. My. Life.  
Wendy and Bebe thanks and leaves me, finally. Token walks through the door and I order for him, I don’t want to listen to his three ice cubes bullshit. He sits next to Clyde and listens to his issues while Craig ignores him, and stares at me. Kenny and Butters are the next people to walk through the door and I end up scaring Butters to the point of crying. Why the hell is everyone crying!? Kenny orders an Ecstatic, sweet and creamy, and Butters orders a Dancing Waters, sweet and creamy. No one ever takes their coffee black. They sit on the last two seats at the far right and occasionally listen in on Craig and Clyde’s conversation. I turn to Kenny and Butters and stare at their drinks.  
“How come you two are here? You’re never here.”  
“Butters wanted coffee, and it’s cold as fuck outside.” Kenny’s trademark orange parka turned into a nice, green one with a scarf when he finally got himself a job a couple of years ago. Butters changed something in him, but he’s still the same Kenny, maybe he changed enough to get out of South Park with Butters. I expected Kenny to say some words of wisdom from his slutty, perverted brain, but he says nothing, and possessively stares at Butters the whole time.

When 7:20 hits, I begin to put the chairs up and collect the money from the cash register. Kenny and Butters scamper out of the cafe, and Clyde and Token ditch Craig. He just stares at me with his monotone face. He says something, and then I yell at him, followed by an ‘ok’.  
“How was your day?” He asks.  
“You saw it.”  
“Ok.”  
“Yeah.”  
“Do you want to do anything tonight?”  
“What? Why?”  
“Because. I don’t want to hang around Clyde’s waterworks and Token’s unconscious attempts to get into his pants.”  
“So you choose to hang out with me?”  
“Yeah, I mean, I would like to be your friend again.” I ignore him and continue to sweep the floor. Craig shifts uneasily as he opens his phone and scans something. “Did you hear the news?”  
“I don’t keep up with drama anymore.”  
“Cartman’s coming back to South Park.” I stop sweeping and pause, but resume cleaning up.  
“So?”  
“So… He’s the guy that you basically almost killed, which caused everyone in town to stop talking to you.”  
“So what if I almost killed him? He practically killed half of the people that lived here. I don’t want to think about all the shit that happened last year that caused the inevitable.” Craig clears his throat, probably to shake off the monotone and give some comfort.  
“I don’t think that any of that inevitable, everyone in town had something to do with what happened, and they’re all assholes for going against you.”  
“So what? Are you just going to deny the fact that you went against me too, Craig? I thought you saw me as your best friend?”  
“I… I am your best friend. And I still think of you as my best friend. Look, I’m not looking for your forgiveness, ok? I screwed up, I abandoned you when you needed me the most. Your parents practically ditched you and Token and Clyde are practically strangers to you. Look… I’m sorry for being an asshole.”  
“Screw you, you jerk. Are you done here? I need to finish cleaning up.”  
“Yes.”  
“Ok. Now go away.”  
“Fine. I’ll be here tomorrow.”  
“And the next day, and the next day, and the next day until I talk to you again like I did last year.”  
“Ok. Bye Tweekers.”  
“-NGH- AHH!” Craig walks out the door and waves me goodbye. Fuck. Here I go again with the fat asses bullshit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hate it? Like it? Review it!


	3. Chapter 3

Last year-  
I hate school. The only reason why I even make the effort to go is to see everyone, and even then, I don’t talk to them. It’s just nice seeing everyone alive and not locked up in the hospital. That would suck… and that would be scary. I get out of bed, and hear my phone ring, and surprise surprise, it’s Craig. 

“Where are you?”

“It’s 7 in the morning.” I yawn. “Why are you awake? You’re usually the last person to get to class.”

“Yeah I know. I left my house early because I didn’t want to deal with my parents. And I’m stuck with-”

“Craig! Stop sexting to your psycho boyfriend, fag!” A short five seconds of silence was taken away from my conversation with Craig so he could flip off Cartman. God, I wish he could just leave us alone. Why does Stan, Kyle, and Kenny even put up with him? Who even likes him? I sometimes see Wendy looking at him… But I think that’s my mind going crazy.   
I think I’m the only one that does this, but do you ever feel like you’re the one that notices… Things? No, not like underpants gnomes, I know for a fact that they’re real, but the little things about people. Like the way Wendy looks at Cartman, the way Kyle looks at Stan, How Token looks at Clyde, how often Bebe rolls her eyes at Clyde, how ugly Clyde looks when he’s crying… The way Craig always wants to be around me. Or maybe the things that I notice are little conversations that people have behind other people. How Wendy’s still jealous of Bebe for having bigger tits… God, I’m so creepy. No wonder why people try to avoid me. But it isn’t my fault! People just speak too loud! Ugh… I don’t want to deal with Cartman… I’ll just go so Craig doesn’t get pissed at me… 

School isn’t that far from my house, so I just walk their. I don’t trust public transportation, there’s usually some Tweaker… Heh, Tweeker, there’s usually some crazy person excessively shaking or making small threats on the bus to me. Does other places in America have shady public transportation also?   
I get off the bus as fast as I can, and see Craig waiting outside, smoking a cigarette with Wendy and Cartman. So the school bad boy, the ultra outspoken Liberal girl, and the Nazi are smoking a cigarette outside of school. This is going to be great.   
“Shut up you hoe! I’m not fat, I’m just pudgy!” Cartman yells. Wendy rolls her eyes and blows her smoke in front of his face.  
“Screw you, asshole! Why am I even here? I don’t even like you and I don’t even speak to Craig!” Craig flips off Wendy and rolls his eyes.   
“Why are both of you here to begin with?”  
“The girls and I are setting up the next rally today, but they probably all forgot, and the damn administrators probably forgot also since the doors are locked.”   
“I’m here because I want to be here! Why are you here, Craig?” Cartman asks, “What the fuck are you gonna do, butt fuck your boyfriend in public?” Craig flips him off.  
“Screw you, just because we pretended to date in elementary school…” Wendy smiles to herself, probably thinking some weird gay, yaoi thoughts about Craig and me. Oh Jesus, I’ve never felt more violated before in my life back then! Craig look my way and waves me over. Oh God, here we go. Cartman grins evilly at me, and I squirm a bit, and feel myself involuntarily hide behind Craig.   
“Speak of the devil…”  
“Screw you, Cartman!” I yell. “Why are you so obsessed with anal sex anyways? Are you secretly gay or something!?”  
“Fuck you asshole! Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. Either way, I’m getting more pussy than you or your boyfriend ever will!” I shake my head in exasperation and drink the rest of my coffee in my thermos. Craig looks at me in concern, and notices the two other thermoses have in my backpack.   
“Coffeeholic. You need to stop.”   
“Don’t tell me how to live my life!”  
“Yeah Craig, if you take away Tweek’s coffee, all he’ll have is you! And that’s not saying much!” Wendy slaps Cartman in the face, and brings him closer to yell in his ear,   
“Don’t obstruct their love!” Gods, why is everyone so damn crazy in South Park!?

This year-  
It’s been about a week since Craig stayed with me that late at Harbucks. He’s been keeping his word, staying with me after school until closing time. He brings his homework and laptop now, and I think I’ve gotten used to it. I don’t think his parents even care, though that’s not surprising. Sometimes he brings alone Jimmy, sometimes Clyde, sometimes Token, sometimes it’s two of them or all three of them. Clyde’s still crying, Token’s still trying to get into Clyde’s pants, and Jimmy’s still telling jokes. Even if I almost did kill Cartman, it’s like it’s normal again, but not exactly. 

Bebe and Wendy stop by Harbucks to work their first day. After a while, I’ve noticed Bebe always uncomfortably looking at Clyde and rolling her eyes as she and Wendy make drinks and I tend the cash register and take orders. It’s routine now. Bebe comes in on Sundays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Wendy comes in on Saturdays, Mondays, and Thursdays. I refused to let them work on Tuesdays… Tuesdays are my quiet days.   
It’s Thursday today, and Wendy stays near the coffee machines and grinders, far away from me as possible. She looks nervous, probably because Cartman’s back in town from the hospital and Stan’s going to flip soon… I don’t know why, but I just have a feeling, like he’s going to barge in with Kyle, Kenny and Butters. Any moment now… 

Craig sips his tea and sighs blissfully in it’s aroma. Surprisingly, Wendy’s really good at making drinks. I guess I’m a better teacher than I thought. I lean against the counter, playing on my phone on some dumb game I’m going to end up deleting tonight. Any moment now, there’s going to be a shit show… Any moment now… 

“Tweekers.”  
“NGH!! What do you want!?” Craig rolls his eyes and hands me the mug and some money.   
“Istanbul Treat, please.” I put the money in the cash register and signal Wendy to make it. Ok… I’ll admit, it’s been relaxing, not having to do much. It’s still an invasion of privacy. Wendy looks at me from the corner of her eye, I can feel it, but I don’t say anything. I want to see if she has the balls to say something to me.   
“So… Tweek.”  
“What- NGH! -do you want?!”  
“Um… How are you?” Fuck, we’re going to do this shit again.   
“I’m… Fine. How are you?” Mom told me that I need to make the effort to be nice again, no matter how much it hurts or some bullshit like that. Wendy smiles at me and continues to make Craig’s tea.   
“I’m good. I’m thinking about breaking up with Stan.” That’s a shocker.   
“Did you hear that Cartman’s coming back to South Park?” I ask. Wendy pauses for a while, and erases her smile, but immediately plasters it back on.   
“Y-yeah, I heard. I hope he’s changed, but he probably hasn’t.” This weird love triangle going on between Stan, Wendy and Cartman is one of the most awkward bullshit I’ve seen in my life. And I’ve almost killed a person before, so that’s saying something. I can tell I’m making Wendy uncomfortable, and as much as I want to see her perfect self suffer and squirm, I stop.   
“Tweekers.”  
“NGH! Craig.”  
“Wanna do anything tonight?”  
“No.”  
“Wanna watch red racer tonight?”  
“No.”  
“Cool, see ya tonight at my place.” I roll my eyes and wash some dishes in the back. This asshole. 

Near closing time, Craig leaves the cafe to get ready for Red Racer. Fuck, am I really going to this shit? Wendy left a while ago, but didn’t say bye or anything. I did see Stan constantly texting her some bullshit about being needy for sex or something. Ugh, I can’t even think about sex or anything like that. I don’t even if I’m gay, bi or straight. Who knows, maybe I don’t want anyone at all.   
I’m just happy that Cartman didn’t show up today. Guess I’ll see him on Monday.


	4. Chapter 4

Last year-  
School went fast, as always, and as expected. C’s in all my classes, C’s on tests, C’s get degrees. Cartman kept throwing crumpled up paper balls at me with the word, “fag” written all over it. I roll my eyes and try my best to ignore him. I look at the teacher, she’s not even noticing all of this. I hate the public school system. Another four hours of him, what are the chances that the fatass is in almost all of my classes?   
Lunch rolls by pretty fast, and Cartman continues to make fun of me from across the lunchroom. Clyde and Token still in line to get their lunch, and I’m alone with Craig at the table. He’s eating pizza from Pizza Hut or some crappy fast food chain place like that. Every now and then, he would stare at me when he thinks that I’m not looking at him, and it kind of freaks me out.   
“Hey Tweek.”  
“What is it Craig?”  
“Do you remember when the Asian girls started to draw those pictures of us?” He looks at the Asian girl group, they’re drawing Craig with an oversized dick, and when they realize Craig’s flipping them off, they just laugh and make it even bigger.   
“Shit, don’t remind me about that crap, Craig. I don’t want to remember any of that bullshit. Oh god! I remember those stupid pictures the Asian girls posted on the internet of you having sex with me!”  
“Tweek, calm down, it’s just a picture.” He says with a small smile. “So are you really?”  
“Really what?”  
“Really gay?”   
“I don’t know! Are you?”  
“I don’t know.”  
“How can you be so calm about this? We even ‘broke up’ officially, why are you bringing this shit up again?!”   
“Because I just want to know.”   
“I don’t know! I don’t really think I like anyone!”  
“Ok but let’s say someone did like you, would you prefer them to be a boy or a girl?”  
“I don’t know!”  
“Tweek just answer my my damn question.”   
“Stop making me nervous!”  
“Tweek you’re the only one that’s yelling, calm down.”  
“Ok fine! I would rather prefer a guy but I really liked a girl and she liked me then I would go for her but if a guy likes me and I’m interested then yes, I would prefer a guy over a girl, sheesh Craig.”  
“Thanks Tweek.” He says, resuming taking bites out of his pizza.” Clyde and Token sit down with us and talk about some video game that’s coming out soon. I remember when I used to be invested in video games, but I kept on getting freaking killed because the guys just used me as bait or something when I played online. Ten minutes into lunch, Craig, Clyde and Token’s invested in some game again. I stopped playing a while ago, too busy at the cafe to do anything besides making drinks. I sound like a bartender. Maybe I can be a bartender for a while for a change of pace. I think I would need a license for that though, god damn it. It’s so awkward when I just sit here with the guys. Every now and then Craig would try to do something to include me in the conversation, but I just pretend to be distracted. Ultimately, I leave the table and head over to the library to get my work done. It’s going to be a long ass day today at the cafe, and mom and dad aren’t back yet from Barbados or some country. How long has it been? A month? Two months? Oh well, this isn’t the first time they left me alone. 

The hallways are empty. Silence, I love it. Except the weird smell, I hope it’s not a gas leak or anything. Oh god! What happened to me, I was doing so well on being calm. It’s probably Craig. How come everything is Craig’s fault? It’s probably the fact that he doesn’t wear his hat as often anymore. Maybe it’s the fact that he got more ripped within the past couple of months? Maybe it’s the way he punched that one guy from North Park last week for walking too slow or something. I don’t know.   
I get to my locker, right next to the janitor's closet. I fucking hate it, that damn room makes everything smell even worse.   
“Wendy, come on! This is like the tenth time you’ve canceled on me!” Looks like Stan’s having another fight with Wendy.   
“Stanley, don’t be a hypocrite. You’ve canceled on me months on end to go off on your adventures with your little boy's club. You know that my family’s having financial issues, I’m trying to find a job right now but no one is hiring!”  
“Ok, look, I’m sorry.” Yay, my daily dose of drama. “Look, Wendy, you know I love you, right?” Wendy sighs. Oh yeah, there’s some hesitation there.  
“I know, I know, I love you too. Just try to understand the situation, ok? And don’t pity me by buying me everything I ask for.”  
“Ok, ok!” Stan opens the door and slowly walks out. He locks eyes with me and stops in his tracks.   
“Did you just hear everything?” I nod.  
“I thought you and Wendy broke up.”  
“We got back together… Again.” Stan walks away without waiting for a reply from me.   
“Hi Tweek.” Wendy says from the closet.  
“Hi Wendy.”   
“How are you?”  
“Good.”  
“Where’s your parents?”  
“Probably in Barbados.”  
“Cool. Can you keep a secret?”  
“What?”  
“I think I need to break up with Stan.”  
“We all know that.”   
“I also think I love Cartman.”  
“I think we all know that.”  
“Is Harbucks hiring?”   
“Not at the moment.”  
“Can you tell me if they are?”  
“Yeah, sure.”  
“Great. See you around.”

This year-  
It’s been a week since Craig forced me to watch Red Racer with him at his house. I’ll admit, it was ok. I missed it. I missed it when Craig would put the blanket over me and stare at the Television in silence. But screw him, he violated my trust. I can’t trust him anymore… Right?   
Wendy and Bebe took over my shift at Harbucks for some reason. I didn’t leave without a fight though, I think I pulled a bit of Bebe’s hair out, but I apologized so it’s ok.   
I remember this place. It’s that lake where the guys and I would swim around in, and the place where Cartman took Kenny, Kyle and Stan out and try to kill them with a whiffle bat. I take a seat on the moist bench. Shit, it’s cold. Why am I out here again? Why am I still here? I could have just dropped out of high school and run Harbucks. I could have dropped out and disappear off the face of the Earth. I could have done a lot of things and no one would really notice or care for that matter. It’s weird, over the past couple of days everyone tried to talk to me even though they made absolutely no effort before. I saw the fatass walking around school with Wendy. I think they’re happy together. Word got out that Wendy finally broke up with Stan, but this time, the reason was to be with Cartman. Oh yeah, Stan was pissed as fuck. I actually think that there’s supposed to be a fight soon… Where was it supposed to be at again? Ahh, this is the life. Silence, snow, and coffee. Oh wait, Bebe and Wendy forced me out of the cafe, so I couldn’t even get my favorite thermos out of the cupboard inside. At least there’s silence everywhere. I rest my head back and let the snow melt on my face. Ahh… Shit, I hear footsteps from the distance. I wipe the melted snow off my face and look around. Cartman’s leading a group of guys on the left and Stan’s leading a group of guys on the right. God damn it, go away! Before I can get up and leave, it was already too late. Both groups confronts each other right in the middle, blocking all of my exits. God fucking damn it. I put in my headphones and blast my music as loud but safe as possible. Craig walks away from Stan’s side and sits next to me on the bench, and Token and Clyde join me. 

“Hey Tweek, didn’t realize you’re here to watch the fight.” Token says.  
“I -NGH -came here for peace, quiet, and coffee.” I sigh. Clyde smiles at me and hugs me. Ugh, go away!   
“Yay, Tweek isn’t annoyed with us anymore!”  
“Let go of me, Clyde! I didn’t fucking know that Stan and the fatass would have a damn fight right in front of where I came for silence!” Craig smiles and get’s out his phone, getting ready to film whatever’s about to come. Great, the four maybe homosexual friends are back together. It’s amazing how Clyde hasn’t realized Token’s feelings for him. The fight between Cartman and Stan was pretty uneventful. Cartman locked eyes with me for a split second, and shook his head and probably mouthed something like ‘all gags go to hell’ or something. Whatever, I’m not the one with the knife wound in the neck. I stick my headphones in and watch the fight go on. A punch from Stan, a tackle from Cartman, attempts in strangling from Stan, a kick to the shins from Cartman and so on. I roll my eyes and imagine coffee in my head… Mint Mojitos… Ambrosia coffee of Gods… Coffee… I need coffee.   
After both boys have blood dripping down their noses I get up and walk away from the bench, pushing Kenny and a couple of other guys out of my way.   
“Hey Tweek! Wait up!” I hear Craig say. Damn it.  
“What do you- NGH - Want?!” Craig motions Clyde and Token to follow him and we walk in a line to Harbuck’s.  
“I didn’t invite you to go with me.”  
“We’re inviting ourselves.” Clyde says.   
“Why the hell would you guys want to do that?”  
“Because we’re all friends!” Token says.  
“What?!”  
“Tweekers, just go with it.” Clyde laughs.   
“Clyde, what the hell!? Only I’m allowed to call him that!” Craig yells. I roll my eyes at the bickering. Clyde’s ugly crying, Token’s trying to get don Clyde’s pants, Craig’s trying to be my bodyguard, and here I am, with no coffee. I think if everyone had coffee, the world would be a better place. But you know, they’re terrible people out there like racists, thieves, murderers and shit like that. 

Harbuck’s is surprisingly empty, besides Bebe and Wendy sitting behind the counter. Bebe smiles at me and get’s out her notepad.   
“Hey guys! What can I get you?” Clyde gets out his wallet and gives Bebe his credit card.   
“Mint Mojitos all around!” Bebe smiles and winks at Clyde, and goes in the back with Wendy to make the drinks. Clyde looks at us and shakes Token.  
“Dude she winked at me! She fucking winked at me, I knew she wants me!”   
“Shut up, Clyde.” Craig sighs with an eye roll.  
“I can hear you, sweet cheeks!” Bebe yells from the kitchen, followed by a fit of laughter from Wendy. They better not mess up my drink. We take our seats on the counter, and after five minutes, the girls come back with our drinks. Wait, what the fuck?  
“What the hell did you do to my drink?”  
“What? It’s good right?” Wendy asks in concern.  
“No, you gave me a small and not a large. Ok, go sit down, I’m making more for myself.” The girls roll their eyes and switch places with me, and sit at the counter with the guys. Token looks at Wendy and clears his throat.  
“So what the hell are you going to do with Cartman and Stan?” Wendy rolls her eyes and chugs her coffee.   
“I don’t fucking know, I’ve got other problems than figuring out who’s going to end up in bed with me. Shit, I need to smoke, Bebe, I’m going on break.” Bebe nods to her and Wendy takes her coffee and goes outside.   
“That poor messed up girl.” Bebe says, scooting closer to Clyde. Kenny and Butters walk in the cafe laughing their asses off.   
“Guys wanna see how fucked up both of them look?” Kenny says. Everyone except me walks towards Kenny to see the current state of Stan and Cartman.   
“Oh shit! Oh fuck!” Clyde yells.  
“Crap, Cartman’s going to have to go back to the hospital.” Craig says. “Stan won.”  
“Are you kidding me?” Token looks at him in disbelief, “look at Stan, two black eyes, a broken nose and a fractured rib, the fatass totally won this time.” Butters walks up to me with a smile, but I can tell that he’s still a bit scared of me.  
“Hey Tweek! How you doing?”  
“NGH!”  
“That’s great! It’s good to see ya, you know, not as scary anymore.” Kenny walks up to Butters and stares at me in the eye. Yeah, yeah, I won’t scare your boyfriend. “Two Ethers, sweet and creamy!”   
Two hours later, I find myself standing behind the counter, and Bebe and Wendy sit with the guys, Butters and Kenny. Kyle and Jimmy walks in the cafe, and Kyle’s kind of freaked and shit, from the fight. Kenny looks back and everyone else does also. Butters grabs two seat for the boys since all the stools are taken.   
“What’s this?” Kenny asks. “No Stan?” He shakes his head.  
“Stan and Cartman both went to the hospital. Don’t worry, I lied and said there was just a bunch of icicles falling from the trees and they saved each other or some bullshit like that. One Tesora, sweet and creamy.” He says, slapping a five dollar bill on the counter. Token passes it to me and I go to the back to make the drink. “Fuck. Wow, almost all of the gang is here.” The group stays silent for a minute, and then they all laugh, including Craig. Fuck these people and their happiness. It is true, almost everyone from elementary’s here. Me, Craig, Token, Clyde, Kyle, Kenny, Butters, Jimmy, Bebe, and Wendy. Now we just need a couple of other people to make the gang complete. It’s a good thing the store closes in about two hours so I don’t have to see these people soon.   
“When- NGH! -are you people leaving?”  
“Closing time!” They all say in sync. Fuck, all of this was planned! I knew the world was out to get me! I hear my phone buzz, and surprise, surprise, it’s Craig. I still have the 100 messages from him I never read. I’ll read that later on, but the most recent one says, “R.R and chill?” I look up at him, and he has a grin on his face. I roll my eyes and click a few buttons.   
“I wasn’t gay for you then, I’m still not gay for you now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hate it? Like it? Review it!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig tries to soften Tweek up with ice cream. Wendy complains about her issues with men and has a short and awkward conversation with Kyle. Clyde flirts with Bebe. Token tries to be Tweek's friend. Coffee is great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a side note, the names of coffee and ice cream in this story are actual coffee and ice cream names in real life. The coffee names come from a fantabulous coffee shop called Philz Coffee, HQ is San Francisco, California, and the ice cream is from a creamery called Rick's Creamery in Palo Alto, California. Basically, not stealing names or anything, but just showing my love for the gentrified Bay Area (Born and raised bitches!). Also, just to erase stereotypes, not everyone in the Bay Area is an Asian hooker or LGBTQ and whatever abbreviation you want to add. Enjoy the story!

This year-  
Craig convinced me to take a break from Harbuck’s and spend more time with him. I don’t get it, he still doesn’t get that no matter what he does, I won’t end up in bed with him. Oh gods, I remember last year when he tried to make a move on me. Normally, I wouldn’t give a fuck about anyone. I didn’t up until now. Last year when I found out that Wendy’s parents got laid off and lost their house I cared. I didn’t couple of months later. Now, I gave her a fucking job along with Bebe, I somehow found myself hanging around everyone again yesterday. Fuck, I hate feelings! Gah!   
I’m at the ice cream shop that we all used to go to, Bebe and Wendy basically forced me to go with him. God’s, I fucking knew that they were all against me from the start! I sit down at the table in the corner, the one where I always used to sit with him, eating a medium Blue Moon ice cream in a cup and him drinking a Rose milkshake.   
“I know what you’re doing.” I say to him.  
“What are you talking about? I’m just trying to be a good friend again-” Craig stops speaking and picks up his phone, and puts up his hand as a motion to excuse himself. He walks out of the building to have his conversation, and he’s pretty fucking loud. “Clyde? What the fuck do you want?... No, I didn’t... Well tell Token to fucking wait!... Fuck you guys… Well this was all your guys' idea!… Yes… Yes… What the fuck are you, my mom?... Yeah, you’re right. Ok fine, I’ll bring him with us… It was your guys’s fault last year, you dumbass!... Yeah, well fuck you… Ok, see you there… Fuck you, Clyde.” That was interesting. Craig reenters the building and takes his seat across from me. “I’m back.”  
“I can- NGH! -see that.”  
“Anyways, I just… Miss you Tweek.” Craig frowns and stares at his milkshake. Crap, he’s talking about his feelings that he doesn’t like talking about now, this is serious. “Ok, look, I know that you won’t ever forgive me, I betrayed your trust, and I’m sorry.” I stare at him, unsure how to feel. He looks up at me, staring into my eyes, expecting me to say something. “Please say something.” I rub my eyes and eat the rest of my ice cream. Shit, I know he’s right. I don’t want to hold any more grudges, especially now that everyone’s making the effort to talk to me again… I shouldn’t be the jackass anymore. Craig sighs and slurps his milkshake, “This isn’t me trying to get into your pants or anything. I heard you loud and clear last year after that… Incident.”  
“Don’t remind me of that- NGH! - crap, Craig. That was one of the reasons why I dropped you out of my- NGH! -life, remember?” I grunt.   
“Yeah, I know. Look, we’re all sorry, ok? I know that everyone here sucks at talking about their feelings,” that’s a lie, Clyde cries every five seconds, “but just… Fuck, why is this so hard?” Craig sighs and leans back. His face is red, he looks like he wants to explode. Shit, he really doesn’t like talking about his feelings.   
“Ok, ok, I get it.” I say, “Don’t fucking force yourself to say all of this stuff, I know you aren’t comfortable saying it.”  
“Tweek, but that’s the thing. We all suck at communicating, I can’t just go on flipping people off every five seconds and hide behind a damn curtain of stoicism and mask myself behind a cigarette.” This was all so scripted, probably by Kyle, Token or Wendy.   
“Ok fine, fine. Just stop making attempts at getting in my pants and I’ll consider being your friend again.” Craig frowns and cracks his knuckles.  
“...Fine.” 

Craig drops me off at Harbuck’s for my shift, and he goes off to his job, but he didn’t tell me where, and I didn’t ask. I go inside to see Bebe washing some dishes in the back, while Wendy talks to her on a stool. She waves to me, but I just blink and walk past her, put on my apron, and start the day. When I mean start the day, I mean listen to Wendy talking about her issues with Bebe and me listening in on the conversation.   
The day goes on pretty quickly. It’s a Sunday, so while it maybe a weekend, it’s still pretty slow compared to Friday and Saturday. I haven’t seen Cartman or Stan in a couple of days, they must still be fucked up in the hospital from that fight, and Kyle walks in with his backpack and a textbook.   
“Hey guys.”  
“Hey Kyle.” Wendy sighs.  
“Hey Tweek.”  
“NGH- What do you want?”  
“Um, one large Philtered Soul, sweet and creamy.” He sits next to Wendy and pulls out his laptop.  
“How have you been?” He asks.  
“Terrible. You?”  
“Same. I’m just done with all the bullshit that’s been going on.” How awkward, two people, in the same room who is in love with the same person. Kyle twiddles his fingers for a while, fully knowing that Wendy is just as uncomfortable as he is. “Did you finish writing your part for the powerpoint?” He asks.  
“Um, yeah. Tell me again why Garrison is making us do a presentation on the history of cheese again?”   
“Who the fuck knows?” Both of them laugh, but immediately stop when I put Kyle’s coffee in front of him. Bebe taps me on the shoulder and I turn around.  
“Awkward~!” She whispers. I ignore her and immediately start making a New Manhattan for this customer in front of me. I swear to god, I’m going to turn into a bartender by the time the school year is over. Great, I’ll be an alcoholic alongside a coffeeholic, more things to add to the list of shit wrong with me. Mildly schizophrenic, extremely anxious, terrible insomnia, and so on. Yay for mental disorders!

It’s two hours before closing time, and I’m ready to hightail my ass out of here. Clyde and Token, interestingly without Craig, shows up within the final moments of when the cafe is open for business. I assume it’s for Clyde to try to flirt with Bebe, and I pretend not to care about their presence.   
“Hey Tweek.” Token says.  
“NGH- Hi. What do you want?” I say as polite as possible.   
“One Greater Alarm, Sweet and Creamy.” Token says, getting his wallet out.  
“And one Silken Splendor, Sweet and Creamy.” Clyde says. Both boys sit at the stools and Bebe and I get working on their drinks.   
“How’s Wendy, Bebe?” Token asks. I forgot all the South Park drama when I shut myself in. It feels weird to hear all the gossip again, not that I payed attention before. Mostly because all the rumors were focused more on Craig and me. It sort of just went past my mind. My schedule changed too often for me to care, so it’s kind of nice to have human interaction again. Bebe sighs and puts Token’s drink in front of him.   
“Conflicted with self-doubt about her feelings, you guys know the drill already. Watch her turn into a lesbian after all of this is done.” Token and Clyde laugh at her joke, Clyde laughs a bit more than necessary. It’s ridiculous how nervous he is, yet he acts like a total hotshot jock. Clyde sips his coffee and turns to me.  
“How’s Craig?”  
“You’re the one- NGH -that hangs out with him. Shouldn’t you know?”   
“I was asking how you think Craig is.”  
“I think Craig’s trying to get in my pants, that what I think.”  
“Care to elaborate on that?” Token asks.  
“I think he probably drugged my ice cream to make me like him faster or something, and then he’s probably going to kidnap and hold me captive in his basement and rape me until I become best friend again.”  
“Ok, thanks for our daily dose of uncomfortable conspiracy theories, Tweek.” Clyde says.   
“Is that how you really think of him, though? And wouldn’t it make more sense for him to make you his boyfriend or husband if he’s raping you in his basement?” Token asks.  
“I don’t know! It’s too much pressure!”  
“Glad to see you’re going back to your normal self again.” Clyde says.  
“NGH! Fuck you! It’s almost closing time, go away!” Clyde snickered to himself and yells bye to Bebe, who waves him off from the kitchen. Before they left though, Token turns back to me with a look of concern on his face.   
“Hey Tweek?”  
“What do you want?”  
“I just wanted to apologize, for both me and Clyde.”  
“Clyde already apologized, his tear stains are still on the floor!”  
“I know, I know. But me last year, well, everyone last year is an entirely different person than everyone this year. I’m sorry for what we did to you last year.”  
“... Thanks for apologizing. I don’t exactly accept it just yet though.”   
“I expected as much.” He opens the door and steps outside, but quickly walks back in.  
“Oh my god, are you leaving or not?”  
“One last question, well, it’s more of a favor.”   
“What?”  
“Craig’s too much of a pussy to do this, so I’m asking you, in place of him, to go R.R and chill with him.”  
“Oh my god! Fine, fine, tell him I’ll go, but he better have food there for me!”  
“OkbyeTweekuseprotection!”   
“Ahh!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hate it? Like it? Review it! Also, if you so care, what type of coffee do you think the characters of South Park would appreciate the most? Like would they like something sweet or bitter etc, and same for ice cream! Also, depending on how busy I am with life shit I may just post a chapter containing events from this year and then a chapter of last year or both. 
> 
> Definition of Sweet and Creamy- Not black coffee, sweet and creamy.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan's gang comes around for coffee. Tweek's morning becomes insanely shitty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you hadn't noticed, updates are on Monday. It's actually 1AM on a Tuesday when I wrote this, but like differences.

Chapter 6

Last year-  
Just another day at Harbucks. Again. I’m not sure what to expect anymore, actually. Ever since I left Stan’s group for Craig’s life has gotten significantly boring… And that was years ago. Speaking of Stan’s group, they stopped by to get some drinks a while ago. It was typical, Kenny flirting with everyone, wishing that Butters would just drop his pants and bend over, Kyle wishing Stan would do the same, Stan thinking about Wendy and kind of being a stereotypical jock, and Cartman. Fucking Cartman.  
“Hey stoner! Are you gonna make my drink or what?” He yells. Stan snickers a bit and sips his Aromatic Arabic loudly.  
“Cartman, don’t be a jerk!” Kyle yells. “One of these days, Tweek’s going to end up stabbing you in the neck, and no one would be on your side.”  
“Screw you Jew! What do you know!?”  
“Obviously more than you!”  
“Hey, I scored 20 points higher on the ACT’s, so shut up!”  
“Stop rubbing that in my face you jerk!”  
“Ladies, ladies!” Kenny says, bringing Kyle and Cartman closer to him. “Calm down!” Cartman pushes Kenny off of him and burps in his face.  
“Get off, fag! Why don’t you stick your business somewhere else, like Butters!”  
“Hey, don’t talk to my Butters like that!” Stan sighs and sits down on a stool near the cash register.  
“Hey Tweek.”  
“Hi Stan.” I sigh, wiping the counter with a wet rag, and then go to the blender to make an iced drink for myself. As the obnoxious blender echoes it’s noise, I hear Stan ask me something, but I can barely make it out.  
“...Craig… Mention… Love… Yet?” I stop the blender and turn around to face Stan.  
“What was that?”  
“What?” He looks up in surprise, “Oh, uh, it’s nothing. Forget I said anything.” I shrug and resume to make my drink.  
“Alright.” Stan’s gang stays a while, and unsurprisingly, I want them gone asap. There was a reason why I left their group all those years ago, and it mainly had to do with fucking Cartman. Fucking, fucking Eric Cartman the fatass himself, although he did lose some weight, I’ll give him that. He’s always trying to find a way to bring others down, specifically me. It’s because I’ve always been the weakest link. I’ll admit that also. I’ll also admit that I do know how to kick ass, and everyone knows that, just refer to Craig and mines fight in Elementary school.  
“Hey Tweek,” He says. “Where’s your bodyguard?”  
“My bodyguard?”  
“Oh for Christ’s sakes, your boyfriend, whatever you want to call him, Craig? Where the fuck is Craig? He owes me five dollars!” Kyle shakes his head and sighs at Cartman’s claim.  
“Craig doesn’t owe you anything, you stole five dollars from his wallet and then he took it back while you weren’t looking.”  
“Hey, I stole that money fair and square! And since it was in my possession at the time of the crime, it technically belongs to me.”  
“Dude, it doesn't work like that.” Kenny says.  
“Whatever, Craig’s an ass. I would’ve taken everything if I were you.” Stan says as he drinks the rest of his drink. Kyle looks at Stan in disbelief.  
“Dude what the hell?”  
“You guys are ridiculous,” Kenny says, “shouldn’t you just get over yourselves? We’re in fucking high school.”  
“Shouldn’t you get over yourself Kenny?” The fatass says. “You’re the one with the crush on Butters since Middle School!” Kenny stands up and looks down at Cartman, staring into his eyes. God, I didn’t agree to work in here just so I can listen to drama. After Kenny’s and Cartman’s little banter, everyone acts like the best of friends again. How can a group of people be this dysfunctional and still be friends at the same time? My interactions with the group is simple, but annoying. Cartman either calls me a fag, stoner, motherfucker, and so on, Stan laughs at Cartman’s accusations and abuse, Kyle yells at Cartman for being a terrible person, but occasionally laughing, and Kenny just staring at everyone like they’re all idiots. 

Two hours later, I kick the four of them out because they annoyed me too much. I don’t know how long I’m going to put up with Cartman’s bullshit. I know that Craig won’t always be there for me. I mean, I know that he wouldn’t do anything to me that would make me want to drop him from my life, right? And it isn’t like he is my bodyguard or anything. Not counting all those times where he did stand up for me with Token and Clyde. Although he did make Token and Clyde fight with him. I can’t really tell how Craig’s friends feel about me, even if I do hang around them. Oh god, I hope I’m not a burden to them. 

The next day rolls by, and what do you know, it’s a Monday. Fuck my life, I need coffee. I brew a Tesora and step into the shower. God, my life is repetitive. That’s ok though, I would rather have repetitive, boring things happen to me instead of some full blown bullshit in front of my face. I’ve noticed that I’m less… Insane? No, I’m not insane. Maybe mildly schizophrenic, but I’m less jittery, I’ve noticed that I rely less on coffee and more on… Craig. He’s the one that stopped me from pulling out my hair every five minutes. He’s the one that stopped me from coming up with all these crazy conspiracy theories, although I do it in secret. He’s the one that would stay up with me until four AM because I’m scared to shit about a rapist at my window. I smile to myself. I’m lucky to have a good friend like Craig, even if he is a total asshole. 

I get a text from Clyde (Interesting how that happened), and he says that class got canceled, and that the guys are stopping by my place in an hour for coffee and whatever leftover pastries I have sitting around. How the hell did that happen? I shrug it off and fall back into bed, even though I know that the two cups of coffee won’t let me fall back asleep. The warmth of my bed reminds me of when my parents would tuck me in when I was little, right before they basically ignored me. Those were the times… I open my phone and scroll social media (even though I don’t care about any of it), until I hear a knock on the door. Shit, they move fast. I get out of bed and walk downstairs. Heh, I don’t need to hold a knife in my hand anymore each time I open the door. I peep through the window near the door to see who it is. What the fuck, who are these people in suits? Fuck, I knew that the government was spying on me! Wait, think rationally Tweek, it will all be ok. I take a deep breath and open the door.  
“Tweek Tweak?” The man asks.  
“Y-yeah? This is Tweek.” I say awkwardly. Fuck, these guys are intimidating.  
“I’m Agent John Shepard with the FBI.” He shows me his official badge and all the papers to prove he’s the real thing. My heart sinks and I feel my skin get pale. OHGODIKNEWTHATISHOULDN’THAVELISTNEDTOCRAIGIKNEWPEOPLEWEREAFTERME!  
“I’m Agent Chrom Ylisse of the FBI.” The man next to John says.  
“And I’m Agent Edea Lee of the FBI.” The woman to the left of John says. “Mr. Tweek, if we could have a moment of your time, we would like to ask you some questions.” Shit shit shit shit shit!  
“U-uh sure! W-wait, you three are actual agents and this isn’t a joke or anything, right?” The three of them shakes their heads. I move out of their way and point to the couches for them to sit down. “Do you guys want some coffee?” The three of them look at eachother and they shake their heads at me. I sit down on the recliner and lean back for whatever is to come at me. “A-am I being arrested?”  
“No, Tweek.” Agent Edea says. “We’re here because we’re investigating your parents.” My eyes widen and I look down. Oh god, what the hell did they get themselves into? Please don’t be dead, please don’t be dead, I know that I hate you guys but not enough so you can be dead…  
“O-oh. What did they do?” Agent Chrom clears his throat and leans forward.  
“Tweek, are you aware that your parents are in the drug trade?” I stare at Agent Chrom in disbelief and shake my head.  
“What? No, that’s ridiculous, w-why in the world would my parents be in the drug trade?”  
“We found evidence that your parents have been apart of an illegal drug trade, the drug in wuestion is Crystal Meth, and there is evidence that your parents have been putting Crystal Meth in your coffee drinks to make them highly addictive.”  
“W-WHAT?!” I yell in surprise. N-no, they’re lying! “N-no, you’ve got it wrong, my parents wouldn’t do that! If that’s true, then I’ve been drinking coffee with…”  
“So are you saying that you weren’t aware of this happening?” Agent John asks.  
“N-no! My parents don’t tell me anything! They hardly even notice I’m around them! Heck, the last time they were home was-”  
“Seven months ago, Tweek.” Agent Edea says. I run my hands through my hair and sit in silence. Oh god… “We… We arrested our parents yesterday Tweek.”  
“What country were they in this time?”  
“... Russia.”  
“I… I see. I’ve been getting these calls and texts from my dad at random occasions.”I say, “It always sounded like they were in some loud area. Now I know it’s because they were on the run. So what’s there sentance?”  
“Thirty to life.” Agent John says.  
“O… Oh.”  
“I’m sorry Tweek.”  
“I sort of had a feeling that my parents were up to something. But… What’s going to happen to me? I’m only sixteen, I don’t want to leave South Park just yet, I have friends here and a business to run-”  
“We have to shut down Harbucks.” My eyes open wide and my throat dries out.  
“N-no you can’t do that! The cafe is one of the only things that I have left that keeps me happy!” The three of them look at each other in sadness and nods.  
“We still have to shutdown the cafe Tweek, I’m sorry. And since you’re still a minor, you’re going to have to go into Foster Care and-”  
“N-no wait! I’ll file for Emancipation!”


	7. Hey there.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek goes to Craig's house. Craig has a lot to say. Token and Clyde hide in a closet together, then Clyde throws up.

Chapter 7

This year-

I can’t believe this bullshit. I can’t believe Craig convinced me to go to his house. Again! Ok, I’ll admit, maybe everyone’s stupidity rubbed on me. The last time I was here was about a couple of days ago, but I only managed to step one foot in his house before his parents started to have an argument. I walked out the second I heard Ruby crying, and Craig jumped to the position of big brother. It’s a good thing I did, I remember the Tucker’s having shitty Folger’s coffee, or worse, coffee from McDonalds, oh Jesus!   
This time around, Craig said we would do more than just watch Red Racer or stare at Stripe 24/7. Just kidding, he does more. I think he has a job, I’m not sure where though. I remember when I blew up in front of everyone, stabbed Cartman in the neck with a knife, pushed Clyde into a ditch, and then screwed everyone’s lives, Craig got so depressed. It was kind of amusing, seeing the high and mighty fall like that. Now, it’s kind of cute seeing how much Craig wants my ass. It’s not like he’ll ever get a piece of it anyways. 

I arrive at the Tucker residence, and knock on the door. I hear Craig whisper to himself, “he’s here.” I don’t know if it’s to himself or someone else, but whatever it is, I don’t like it. He’s probably planning to rape me, so I brought along a pocket knife and pepper spray just in case. I stay silent for a couple of minutes, and contemplate leaving his sorry ass again, but I can’t make that decision anymore, Craig already opened the door. I can tell that he touched himself up a bit, his hair doesn’t look like shit from being under that chullo hat of his, his jeans actually fit, his boots aren’t ragged, and he’s wearing a leather jacket. What the fuck is this shit?  
“Hey Tweekers.”  
“Hi Craig.” I say. I look down for a while, grinding my heel against the snow and cause my boot to squeek. “Ok, this has been fun but I should probably go-”  
“No.” Craig says, grabbing my wrist and slightly forcing me into his house, closing the door behind me. Oh god, it’s happening! “You and I are going to hang out and you will like it!” He yells. His face is red, and he’s breathing heavily. If Token and Clyde were here, I bet you one of them would be doing a facepalm right now, and they probably are. I should leave. “Ok, no, that’s not what I was meant to say.”  
“Then what were you supposed to say?” I ask. Craig sighs, and cracks his knuckles.   
“Tweek, I know you don’t have the feelings that I do… For you, and that’s ok. So I’ll be happy for the next best thing, being your best friend again. Even then, I kn-... know that it’ll be hard, but just…. Um, take a leap of faith with me on this.”  
“This was scripted.” I say. Craig rolls his eyes and sighs.   
“I told you he would find out, Token! We freaking wasted our time asking for fucking Kyle’s help with that shit.” I shake my head and sigh. This was stupid, but at least he tried.  
“Ok, no.” Craig looks at me in surprise.  
“Tweek, what are you saying?”  
“Say it to me in your own words, give me the Craig motherfucking Tucker way of getting me to be your friend again.”   
“Tweek if you don’t be my friend again I’ll fucking bash your head against the wall and make you forget your memories so that you’ll forget every bad thing that happened to you last year and make you mine, hide you in the basement, and claim you for myself, and use your sweet ass for my own personal uses.” In the back, I hear Clyde barf in his mouth. He steps out of a door in the staircase and runs towards the bathroom. The sounds of him throwing up and gasping for air makes me sick. Craig walks a bit closer to me, our noses almost touch, and his warm breath makes me want to barf, but I’m not Stan. I push him back a bit, and take out my thermos to gulp as much of it down as possible.   
“That’s close enough, dickwad. Fine, we can go and be friends again, just stop making butt fucking jokes, it’s making me uncomfortable and makes you seem even more creepy than you already are.”   
“YES!!!” Craig yells to the top of his lungs. That’s the loudest I’ve ever heard him yell before. Token opens the closet door and cracks his back.   
“Fucking finally, I waited a whole damn year to hear you say that. Hey Clyde, you ok bro?”  
“I think I barfed my brain.” He says from the bathroom.   
“That’s not anatomically possible, Clyde.” Token says as he closes the bathroom door. I roll my eyes and drink the last few drops of my coffee.   
“Ok, well, I’m out of coffee, you got me to be your friend again, Token’s in the bathroom comforting Clyde, I think I’ll go back to the cafe to get more to drink.”  
“You shouldn’t drink so much coffee.”  
“Just because we’re friends again doesn’t give you the right to regulate my caffeine intake.  
“Yeah well, it’s a good thing you aren’t drinking that damn ‘special’ drink your parents sold all of us in the past before they got arrested.”  
“Yeah, I’m glad they’re gone now, I guess. Ok, now go away, I’m going to make Bebe make me coffee.” I say, walking out the door. Craig stops at his doorstep with a large and noticeable smirk on his face.   
“Hey, Tweek!”  
“Oh my god, what is it this time!?”  
“I’m gonna drop by the cafe soon, Kenny’s sister and mine are having a play date there, so get the hot chocolate ready!”  
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” 

Damn, I actually had a conversation with Craig, and not blew up. Maybe I can do that with everyone. Ha, not! God damn it, why does Craig’s house have to be so far from the cafe? It’s freaking cold. I was being dumb and found myself getting over anxious on what to wear outside. I thought I got rid of it, the anxiety. I don’t think it’s something you can get rid of though, mental and anxiety disorders aren’t really something you can escape. Sure, you can cope with it, but it’ll always be there, lurking around you, waiting to strike back. But that’s what medication is for, but being put on crazy pills really fucks you up. I should know, my damn parents put medications and drugs in my coffee ever since I was little. I can’t believe I missed them last year, but that’s that. I feel stupid for everything last year. I feel stupid for thinking I could trust my parents, I feel stupid that Craig and mines stupid drama somehow affected everyone we knew, I hate what I become. Sure, everyone was always a little afraid of me, but when I was walking down those hallways, I felt like they were all looking at a serial killer with all the mental disorders in the world. Shit, what did I become? But was it Craig’s fault? It’s stupid, I don’t even remember a lot of what happened last year. Huh, I guess that’s how you know you need to just suck up your pride and say sorry, even if you didn’t do anything to begin with. 

At least I got an Ambrosia Coffee of God and a scoop of Blue Moon ice cream to make my happy. It’s a shame that Bebe kind of sucks making drinks, but she’ll get better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hate it? Like it? Review it!


	8. Hold me.

Chapter 8

Last Year-  
I feel my body vibrating in the wind, it’s cold, kind of sends swords stabbing into my spine. Ever since those sketchy FBI agents came to my house, it’s been hell. I had to ignore Craig and everyone else so I can do my stupid research about emancipating. What even happens when your damn parents get arrested and leave their child alone like this? I always knew they never cared about me, they just needed me as their guinea pig for testing out spiked coffee drinks, fucking assholes. I can feel myself wanting to twitch, vibrate, flinch, stutter, and freak out, create some sort of delusion in my mind. I can feel my body failing me, I’ve been off coffee for a whole week, and I can feel my body reacting to the sudden loss of caffeine. Oh gods, I went so far, I can’t go back to being my mess of a self like in Elementary School! Maybe I should try smoking or something, or drinking to compensate the loss of caffeine? But the horrible side effects might cause me to pass out and some rapist might give me AIDS and the house will burn down by someone like Cartman who’s been staring at me from outside my houseprobablytryingtoplothiscrimeagainstmeofmygodwhatdidIdotohimtomakehimhatemeohmygodIneedcoffeeAHH!!!  
I plop myself on my bed and bite my lip. I rub my eyes in frustration, but it just fogs up my vision more than the tears streaming down my face. Why me? What did I do to deserve this! I go to church, I don’t do anything diabolical, I let people step on me and use me and I don’t do anything bad to them! Why is God punishing me like this!  
I need a shower.  
I need someone to talk to.  
I need a friend.  
I want Craig. 

The shower is scalding hot, and it’s the opposite to the sheer cold I’m used to. My back is against the wall and tears are still running down my face. I blast Arctic Monkeys from Spotify and ignore my phone beeping. I wipe the condensation away from the shower door and look at my phone. One message from Token, One message from Clyde, twenty two messages from Craig, and a couple of other messages from other people. Crap, I’m going to get sick sitting here. 

A week passes by fast. I go to school, sit with the guys, stay silent, and nod my head when someone asks me if I’m ok. Garrison probably told the class what happened to my parents. People who I don’t normally talk to are suddenly talking to me because they feel sorry for me. If they actually did care, they would have talked to me from the beginning.  
“Hey Tweek…”  
“... I’m sorry…”  
“... If you need anything…”  
“... Just ask.”  
It’s the same words on replay all over again, just from different people. I feel like I’m some judge on some reality singing competition.  
Lunch comes along like yesterday. The atmosphere at the table is numbing. Cartman just talks on and off, taunting me with his bullshit. He says some shit about how the government’s going to send me away to some concentration camp for fags or something, I tuned him out. It’s just Cartman anyway, it’s just him and his regular bullshit. It’s not like I’m going to end up stabbing him in the neck or something. I’ve learned to tune people out, it’s a survival instinct I learned in Middle School, even after Craig and the guy's beat people up for me at the command of Craig. He knew I could fight though, yet, he treated me like a fucking princess.  
That kind of pissed me off, even now.  
“Cartman shut your fatass, just leave Tweek alone!” Kyle yells.  
“Shut up Jew! You know nothing! All I’m doing is giving Tweek a warning of all the punishments that will come on to him when he gets taken away by the government. If anything, I’m helping him. Right Tweek?”  
“No…” I say silently.  
“See? A yes.”  
“Shut up, dude!”  
“Don’t tell me to shut up! I’ll do what I want!” I look up at the typical bantering, and Butters and Kenny joins the table. Butters says something to me, but I tune him out, I don’t need to typical bullshit from people right now, I already know what he’s going to say. Kenny pats my back and winks at me, says something I tune out, Craig says something, I tune him out, then he looks at me, I tune him out. Clyde says something, Token agrees, I tune them out. Stan and Kyle says something, I tune them out. Cartman says something, I tune him out. I tune everyone out. There’s a plastic knife in my hand, and Cartman’s rambling on about something. I clench it tightly, figuring out what I should do next. 

But life doesn’t always go the way you want it to. 

You can only have so much control.

Until you lose your grip on yourself.  
Reality.  
The people around you.  
But I just want it all. I want it all, but I also just want everyone to go away. 

The Government, the people around you, the system we live in, it all made sense now, none of it mattered.

“I can do it” I think to myself. I can unleash my fury on him, but I won’t. I’ll just sit there and take it. I’ve been doing it, and I still can. And it’ll be alright. I let go of the knife, and wrap of all my food back in it’s plastic and stuff it in my bag. Everyone stops talking, and Craig looks at me in concern.  
“Tweek, where are you going?”  
“N-... I just remembered that I… Have something to do in the library.”  
“Wait, I’ll go with you-”  
“He just wants to ass rape you Tweek-” Craig leans over the table, spilling Butter’s water all over Token’s salad, and a loud bang comes from the table as Craig bangs on it with his right hand and clutches Cartman’s meaty neck with his left hand.  
“Screw off, you fat ass piece of shit.” He glares into Cartman’s eyes, everyone shocked at Craig’s actions. The whole table falls silent, and Cartman grins a terrible grin.  
“Do it. Do it Craig, you know you want to. I’m not scared-” I accidently drop my plastic tray on the floor, grabbing everyone’s attention. God damn it, I can’t even make a clean exit. Everyone stares at me, like I’m some unknown creature. I grab my bag and thermos. I pick my tray up and look at everyone in their eyes.  
“I need more coffee N-...” I stop myself from ticking, it’s a good thing that no one noticed it. I leave without making a sound. God damn it, why did this have to be so damn dramatic?

I lied to them. Craig caught up to me with Token and Clyde, and I told them I was just going to hang around the library. I just walked home. I want to be alone. I want to cry myself to sleep and forget about all the bad things that are happening in the world right now. I want to hide behind coffee. Even though I brought my thermos with me, I brought tea instead. I look at it, the shining, clean thermos in the dim light of a lamp. I loved this thing, and I still do. But this thing was filled with fucking crystal meth, it made me this way! I feel my eyes water again, and I throw it out of my room. I hear it falling down the stairs, clinking and clanging it’s way down towards the front door.  
I wrap my blankets around my wrists and try to tear apart the sheet in frustration, as tears run down my cheek, some dripping into my mouth, but most of it ends up on the bed. Maybe it was my fault they resorted to this. My parents weren’t all bad when I was a kid, I still have some good memories of them playing with me, and giving me coffee to drink. How could I have been so dumb? I should’ve seen this happening to me. It’s funny, out of all the crazy conspiracy theories that run through my mind, I could have never come up with this one. 

My phone keeps buzzing, and I sigh in discomfort as the echoing beeps and rings from the multiple calls and texts picks up from my phone. Unsurprisingly, the one who’s called and texted the most is Craig. At least I have someone who actually cares about me. I decide to stop being a shut in for now and scroll through them.

Craig: Tweek.

Craig: Tweek.

Craig: Tweek.

Craig: Dude are you ok? 

Craig: Where the hell are you? 

And here’s the most recent one,

Craig: Open your goddamn door.

Craig: Screw it, I’m going through your window. 

I stare at my phone in disbelief, then again, he has done crazier things, like grabbing people by their necks, throwing people across the hallway and beating up teachers. It’s a good thing he’s so damn good at science that the district isn’t willing to expel him. I remember him on those days when he would just stay days on end in his room, reading whatever science textbook he got from the library. Besides me, Strike the sixth, and his sister, science is the only thing that keeps him going. I hear a light tap on my window, and what do you know. Craig’s perched on my roof. I wonder how he actually gets on there, but I don’t ponder on those thoughts. I want him right now, I just need to be near someone right now. I open my window and let him in. 

“Hey.” He says. I nod to him and crawl back into my sheets. He leans against my wall, facing me with those sharp eyes of his. He looks around the room, feeling awkward on what he should be doing at the moment, but we both know why he’s here. “Wanna talk?”

“No.” I say flatly.

“That’s fine. We can just stare at eachother… Drink co- tea, drink tea, figure out what your plans are, listen to me ramble on about wanting to slit someone’s throat… We can do anything you want to do.” I involuntarily smile and sit up. 

“God, you suck at communicating, it’s kind of a wonder how you and your sister are still talking.” He flips me off with that signature move of his. Shit, has he always been that tall? 

“Screw you, dude.”

“Screw you too.” He walks over to my bed, and sits next to me. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing with my life.” He says. I look at him in disbelief.

“Yeah you do. You’re going to go on to be some scientist, quit smoking, get out of South Park and live the rest of your life breeding guinea pigs for Stripe the hundredth, immortal edition, or become Spaceman Craig like you’ve always wanted as a kid.”

“And what about you, Tweekers?” I shrug and collapse right back onto my pillow.

“I don’t fucking know. If all goes well for me, open a chain coffee shop that doesn’t have crystal meth inside and live the rest of my life freaking out over everything.” Craig nods his head and leans agaisnt the wall. 

“Cool.”

“Yeah.”

“Hey Tweek?”

“What?”

“I think you need a hug.”

“N-no thanks.” I laugh awkwardly. Craig nods his head, and puts his hands in his pocket. I curl my knees towards my chest, and slowly breath in and out. After about five minutes, I find myself in Craig’s arms, he’s holding me close, cuddling, spooning, whatever you call it. 

“Whatever happens to you, you know that I’ll always be there for you, right?” I nod my head. Ugh, I don’t need this right now. I want it. “Good.” He rests his head on top of mine, breathing in my coffee scented self. I’ve never been this close to anyone, not even my parents. Physical contact was never a thing, except the occasional pat on the back. 

This feels foreign.  
But at the same time,  
It all feels right. Like I’m safe.  
And this feeling is something I never want to go away from.


	9. Chapter Moist.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red talks about her issues from last year. Everyone's accusing Tweek of being in love with Craig. Bebe takes a nap. Clyde gets defensive. Stan talks to Wendy. Wendy is still talking about her issues. Kenny, Karen, and Butters stops by. Craig wants Tweek's ass. Or does he?

This Year-  
Ugh, I hate inventory, I want to shoot myself every month when I have to do this bullshit. I asked Bebe and Wendy to help carry some of the boxes, but they both made the excuse that they sprained their ankles during volleyball practice. I would call bullshit, but I don’t want Bebe to call shit to me, and I sure as hell don’t want Clyde glaring at me for abusing “his” girl. When the hell is he going to realize that Token basically wants him? Ugh, why am I talking about this drama shit? It isn’t like any of this applies to me, nor anyone actually likes me romantically. Craig… He just wants to get into my pants and spread my legs, even though he did say that he did want to “Take me out of South Park, drive me all the way to California or Florida and throw you in the ocean and watch the night sky as we huddle under a blanket on the warm sand”. Bebe should call bullshit on this crap.  
I step inside the cafe, Bebe’s filing her nails as Wendy makes Red’s Greater Alarm.  
“How’s your boyfriend?” Red asks me.  
“NGH- He’s not my boyfriend.” I say as I stock the shelves with tea.  
“Yet!” Bebe winks. I shake my head and plop the tea boxes in the cupboard.  
“Please, I know my cousin as well as his friends do.” She leans closer to me across the table and slurps her coffee. “You. Like. Him. He. Likes. You! You’re just playing hard to get, and we both know that’ll only make Craig’s disgusting and creepy attempts to get to your ass even more hilarious and uncomfortable.” I throw the rest of the tea in the cupboard and turn around to glare at Red.  
“God damn, I don’t fucking like him! And why are you talking to me, I thought you were scared of me?” Red shakes her head and orders a second cup of coffee.  
“I am scared of you still, we all are. Also,” Red gets off of her ass and walks towards me. “I want to apologize for last year.”  
“You and everyone else.” Wendy looks up from the coffee grinder and sets down all of her stuff.  
“Red wait-”  
“Wendy, no, it’s ok. And to be honest, if I didn’t help Clyde and Cartman with driving the truck to Craig’s house then I could have probably prevented almost everything from happening. But like Tweek said,” She looks at me with sincere eyes, not the eyes that she usually had before, it’s different, more realistic, “everything from the beginning was inevitable.” Oh gods, what’s this feeling inside me? I hate it, oh Jesus! No, calm down Tweek, if you can get through twitches and ticks then you can get through anything.  
“N-n-n no, Red-”  
“No, Tweek, it’s alright.” Red walks away from me and grabs her backpack and leaves. God, that was so dramatic. Wendy shakes her head and leans against the counter.  
“Well, that went better than expected. I’m surprised she didn’t use the fact that you basically threw fifty boxes worth of tea in those cupboards against your argument.” Ugh, she’s right. I’m only now noticing I ordered all this tea. Green tea. Plain Green Tea, so generic, basic, and underwhelming. Fuck you, Craig Tucker. 

Kenny, Karen and Butters show up at the cafe next. Bebe’s taking a nap in the back, unsurprisingly. Why the hell did I hire her to begin with? Oh wait, I forget that Bebe and Wendy are a two for one deal sometimes. Wait a minute, something's not right here. Why the hell would Karen and Ruby come over for a fucking play date when they’re like sixteen!!! Goddamn it, I knew I was being fooled. Lesson learned, don’t stay in isolation for too long.  
“Hey Tweek!” Butters greets me.  
“Hey.” I say.  
“How ya doin?” Jesus, just as enthusiastic as ever.  
“I need more coffee.”  
“Same here!” I keep forgetting that it was Butters that handed me the knife when I stabbed Cartman. Damn, I didn’t realize it was indirectly his fault in a way. And then there was Kenny, Kenny Motherfucking Mccormick, former resident slut. I don’t really remember him doing much that day for some reason, besides dying probably. And that leaves me at the scene of the crime with the knife Butters gave me. And then there was the time when I emancipated. Gods, a lot has happened in a year. Kenny leans against the counter and looks at me in the eye.  
“Craig get into your pants yet?”  
“God damn, why does everyone want to know if Craig got into my pants? And don’t give me your fucking words of wisdom or whatever.”  
“Yet!” Bebe yells from the break room.  
“Bebe you’ve been off break for the last five minutes, come over here!” Wendy shakes her head and hands everyone their drinks. I look over to Karen, she opens up her textbook and begins taking notes on some Biology shit. Fuck… I don’t want to do this, but I will. I quickly whip up some hot chocolate and hand it to Kenny to pass it to her. God, I think I have a heart now. She looks up from her textbook and smiles at her big brother, and gladly takes the hot chocolate. Now it’s silence. Wendy, Kenny, and Butters talk about their plans after graduation. Wendy applied all over the place, Colorado State University, UC Davis, Yale, and NYU among others. She gets upset when Kenny said he didn’t apply anywhere, that he’s going to community and get a job or two, but it’s all mainly for Karen. As for Butters, he decided to stay in South Park with Kenny, since he doesn’t know what he’s doing with his life.  
“What about you Tweek?” Wendy asks.  
“What about me?”  
“Where are you going”  
“Here.” Wendy frowns and makes herself a Ambrosia.  
“Why? Why would you want to stay in a place full of dumb rednecks?”  
“It’s not like I want to stay in this dump, it’s just that it’s the only place I know. Besides, it’s not like I’m gonna have someone there for me no matter what I do.” Kenny frowns at me as he and Butters sips their drinks.  
“Dude, don’t say shit like that. You have-”  
“Who? Craig?” I say. The room stays silent for a couple of minutes, but I sigh gently and break it. This reminds me when Craig and I screwed up the whole town because of our fake breakup. And then when we became fake boyfriends how he would beat people up for touching ‘his’ Tweekers. I… Need to get over myself. “I’ll think about it.” At the sound of those words trigger their brains, Kenny, Butters, and Wendy look up in surprise.  
“What?! Really!”  
“Yeah, I do.” I frown, “I… I just need more coffee.” Wendy smirked to herself and turns around to make me a drink. From under her breath, I could hear her say: “And you’ll get even more to come.” I pretend that I didn’t hear her, and I pretend I know what ‘come’ she’s referring to. 

An hour goes by quickly. Token and Clyde stops by and orders their usual, Clyde paying, and flirting with Bebe as she scrolls through her Twitter, Facebook, or whatever social media platform she’s using at the moment. Token sighs and sits next to Kenny, making slightly awkward conversation as Kenny talks about all forms of dildos out there. Stan even came by with Kyle trailing him.  
“Hey Wendy!” He yells as he walks in.  
“Holy shit, you’re so loud!” I yell at him. He whispers an apologetic ‘sorry’ and leans against the counter towards Wendy.  
“Hey sweet cheeks!” Bebe greets Kyle.  
“What the fuck, you have a boyfriend!” Clyde glares at Kyle as both boys shake their heads at each other. Wendy stares at Stan with a blank face, and here Stan is… Well, It’s not like I know what’s going on between the two of them.  
“Hey Wendy-”  
“You haven’t returned any of my calls, any of my texts, any of my emails, nothing.”  
“Wendy I-”  
“Look, I know that we’ve done this before a million times in the past, but this Stan, is getting kind of old. You got into a really bad fight with Cartman, sure, yeah, I did too when we were kids, but you seemed more focused on protecting your pride than making sure that you and I were still going strong.”  
“...Are you breaking up with me?” Stan asks, a frown on his face that kind of matches him. Wendy sighs, and turns around and hands me a drink.  
“I don’t know. I don’t know how I feel about Cartman, I don’t know how I feel about you. You already know what’s going on with my family, Stanley. When I needed you then and now you weren’t there, you were too busy doing whatever the hell you were doing.”  
“... Oh.” Stan says, looking baffled as ever. Why the hell is he surprised, why the hell are any of these people surprised, they’ve done this like a million times before, this should be routine for everyone! At the end, Stan leaves even more confused than ever, and leaves the cafe alone without Kyle, who opted to hear Kenny’s wisdom or something. It’s amazing how Wendy hasn’t brought up her famaly’s issues at all, but she’ll probably start complaining/ crying in Cartman’s arms soon enough. As Stan leaves the door, I see Craig walk right past him, calling Stan an asshole or something and Stan glaring at him. 

He stops and stares at me as a customer finishes ordering his drink, and sitting at a table in the corner.  
“Welcome to Harbucks… How can I help you today?” He smiles at me with that stupid sexy face of his. Wendy stands behind me, probably smirking, giggling and taking a video of all of this. Token and Clyde sit on the bar stools mouthing encouraging words to him or something. What the hell is this? Kenny makes some weird probably sexual gesture with his hands, and Butters swings his legs, kind of oblivious to what’s going on. And then there’s Bebe, who’s taking a nap in the back. Why do I still let her work here?  
“Hey Tweekers.” Normally I would tell him to fuck off for letting him call me that, but I don’t feel the need to. It’s weird, and I feel like everything’s going to go back to place, like that day when I died inside after I found out my parents got arrested. He smells the same under the heavy coffee, a deep pine woods from a breezy forest with a Creek or something. “I’ll order (I want) a large (your nice, big) Silken (soft) Splendor (splendid), sweet and creamy (delicious ass)” Kenny catches this, and laughs to himself, everyone oblivious to what Craig was really saying.  
“Sure (You’ll get your drink but not my spunk).” I turn around and Wendy and I begins making his drink. “So what was your master plan? And why didn’t you bring Ruby with you, and why the hell did you say you were going to be late?” I ask.  
“That will all be revealed soon. Let’s just talk for now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know about you people, but I could go for something extremely MOIST.


	10. UmbrielBrechen is back with chapter 10 bitches!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello readers (If anyone is actually reading this), thank you for your patience for the chapter ten of Welcome... Now Go Away. First, I would like to explain my hiatus. I have been in school mode for the longest amount of time, and I was a senior in high school, so it was get my shit done or fail everything, also due to the fact that I do not take regular high school classes, I take majority college level classes, so it was more intense than the average high schooler. Now that I have graduated, brought my GPA up from a 1.8 to a 3.2(? final grades still not finalized but around this area) And I have now graduated high school and awaiting for my community college classes to come into session for the Summer and Fall, I can promise you all that more chapters will come and be at a more consistent pace. Thank you 63 people that has left a kudos!

Last Year 

Craig has always been my best friend. Yeah, Token and Clyde are there. I’m not sure if they make the effort to actually be my friend since they’re just there for eachother, but I think they care about me, to an extent. They definitely care more about Craig though. That’s fine, Craig basically convinced me that he’s all I need.   
The emancipation process was shorter than I realized. The U.S government doesn’t care about some slightly schizophrenic, anxiety driven teenager from the middle of nowhere in South Park, Colorado. My parents are gone, they didn’t even leave a note or a phone call to say goodbye. Even though I’m living on my own illegally, the government doesn’t care, those FBI agents just patted me on the back and left me alone. It looks like they really weren’t trying to kill me after all, no one is.   
I still feel jittery. I threw away all the coffee grounds and closed down the shop for a couple of days, and locked myself in my room to avoid reality. This little room of mine, it’s the corner of my heart, and it makes me happy being in solitude. No more mom, no more coffee, no more dad. 

A week passes by, and I scrape by my classes by submitting all of my homework and classwork online. It doesn’t matter to me. It isn’t like anyone actually gave a shit about me to begin with. Except one person. I look at my phone, what is it, the sixteenth message? The twentieth? Nope, it’s the forty sixth message from Craig. I know the right thing is to pick up and talk to him, talk to him like old times when we were all kids. But this is what happens when you grow up, you gain people, but you mostly just lose them. It’s all just losing people at the end of the day, and learning how to deal with those losses. Me? I cope by staying up all night, staring at the ceiling and getting out of bed to eat and drink occasionally, but going back to bed at the end of the day. 

Stan and Kenny comes by one day. They stand outside my door on the third week of my absence. Craig hasn’t even stopped by once, just sending text messages by the waves each day. I hear Kenny knocking on the door and Stan trying to call me. I hear my phone ring, and it feels like someone’s stabbing my ear drums from not being exposed to any sort of sound for long periods of time.   
Do you know that feeling? It’s numb, like you’ve been stabbed, but no blood or pain involved. You’re just surviving, just scraping by, not living your life to the fullest.   
It was never like I liked my parents, I hated them, and I still do. But they were my parents. And I loved them.  
But I realized what they did to me. 

My face looks different now, like someone ran a truck over me, but that’s just all in my head.

I’m still Tweek Tweak. And he needs to get off his ass, because I can’t let my life be ran by fear. 

“H-hey dudes…” I say with a small smile. 

“Hey Tweek.” Stan says with a slight smile, but I can’t tell if it’s forced, or if he and Kenny actually want to be here. “Can we come in?”

“Y-yeah.” I step out of the way, and the two of them sit on my couch and stare at the blank television while I bring both of them non-meth spiked hot chocolate. I can tell that they’re both here to give me some intervention or some shit like that. 

I think Craig put them up to this though. Kenny and Stan never gave a shit about me. I… I can’t tell if that’s just one of my conspiracy theories though.   
Everything just scares me, even if I’m not drinking coffee.   
“No offence, but why are you here?” I ask. Both of them give me blank stares, and I feel myself jitter as I hand both of them their drinks. Kenny stares at the mug in his hand and looks at Stan in caution.  
“Um…”  
“Don’t worry, no meth this time.” I sit down on the recliner across from them and put my feet up, “Everyone in this town is getting compensation from drinking the coffee, so expect some money rolling in soon.”  
“O-oh shit!” Kenny yells, almost too excitingly, “How much?”  
“Kenny!” Stan glares, “This isn’t what we’re here for. But how much exactly?”  
“One thousand dollars per drink you’ve had at the cafe…” Kenny nearly drops his mug on the ground and curses when he hears the numbers. Stan just stares in shock. “Heh, yeah.”  
“Anyways…” Stan says, “You’re probably thinking why we’re here-”  
“Craig sent you guys, didn’t he?”  
“Yeah.” Kenny says with a slight frown.   
“So you guys don’t really want to be here?”  
“Tweek, before you jump to conclusions, here us out.” Kenny says.  
“Yeah, everyone’s getting worried. You didn’t show up to school for days, Tweek! The school’s about to declare you truant if you-” I set my mug on the ground and recline back, grabbing my hair, but not tugging it out.  
“What does it matter, though?!” I yell, Kenny and Stan jump in surprise and exchange looks. “My parents are fucking gone, my life hasn’t been about coffee, it’s been about fucking crystal meth! I’m going to be in financial ruin because the government doesn’t give a shit about my issues, I don’t have a job, and I’m having all these issues that no teenager should have!” I want to cry, but I don’t, not in front of fucking Stan fucking Marsh and Kenny the slut. Kenny puts his mug down on the table and wipes his mouth with his signature parka, and looks me, straight in the eye.   
“You’re being very negative right now, Tweek.” He says. “I can guarantee you, that I have gone through things ten times worse than you right now, and guess what? My parents make shit, and they spend it all on alcohol. I’m making enough money to pay for my own community college classes and enough to send my little sister to university for one year, and don’t forget all the other shit I go through with fucking dying and shit. So yeah, you’re going through this one little fault right now, I go through ten faults a minute, so don’t start complaining when I would kill to be in your position right now.” Fuck… He’s right.   
“And Tweek, I don’t want to be a little bitch…” Stan says, “but why the fuck is hot chocolate being served at the Tweak residence?” Fuck… He’s even more right. I shulk into my seat and rub my face.  
“You guys are right.” I bring my knees up to my chest, and I breath deep, slowly, in and out. Shit, I don’t want to start crying!   
“So no more crystal meth spiked crystal meth?” Kenny asks.  
“N-no.”  
“No more ignoring Craig? And, I guess everyone else in the world?”  
“N-no.”   
“Ok, go get dressed. I swear to fucking god, I didn’t wake up at 5AM to not get you out of bed. I don’t want Craig to beat me up because I couldn’t get his boyfr- friend, his friend, out of bed.”  
“Wait, why the hell did you guys need to get me this early in the morning?” Kenny grinned at me and took off his parka, and put on a much more stylish sweater.   
“We are going to a party. Don’t worry, all the adults are gone for some party Token’s parents are holding in Denver, so it’s every Teen for themselves!”  
“Tweek, ya mind if I change here?” Stan asks, taking his backpack off and taking out more clothes.  
“Shit, what’s happening? What the hell is going on?! Am I being kidnapped?!” I back away from both of them, and they laugh at me. These fuckers.   
“Dude, just change into something more decent.”   
“Guys did it work?!” I look around the room, Craig’s deep nasally echoes in the room. Shit, I’m going crazy.  
“Craig, you can come in, now!” Craig kicks open the door with a huge grin on his face. Kyle, Cartman, Token and Clyde all walk in the room. Clyde’s eyes are watering, and he ran up to me and gave me a giant hug. Fuck, I’m getting wet.   
“WAAAAH! TWEEK WE ALL CARE ABOUT YOU DON’T EVER THINK THAT WE HATE YOU!!!”  
“Fucking hell Clahd, it’s five in the fucking morning, I didn’t get my ass up to hear you bitch, let’s get to the fucking party so I can get something to drink and you fags can go suck eachother’s dicks!”   
“Fuck you Cartman, if you didn’t want to get Tweek you could have gone with Wendy and the girls!”  
“Fuck you Jew! You’re just jealous because we all know that they would be all over me and not you!”   
“Screw you fatass-”  
“Guys, can you not fight right now?” Token sighs, rubbing his eyes. “Let’s just get into the car and head over.” I run upstairs and quickly change into something more decent, then head back down after deciding that my hair isn’t something to be tamed with. 

I sit in the back with Craig and Token. Shit, I hate Stan’s driving, Jimmy drives better than him. I keep crashing into the window of the car or Craig. He doesn’t seem to mind though, and he’s smiling too. I think he’s actually smiling because he’s suppressing his anger, but I don’t want to think about that right now. I look at him, and smile. He’s actually a decent human being. I grab my phone stare at the keyboard popping up at the screen.

Wonder Tweek: Thanks.

Super Craig: For what?

Wonder Tweek: For getting me out of the house.

Super Craig: I wasn’t going to let you sit on your ass all day. 

Wonder Tweek: But really though, thanks :). You’re the best friend a person could ever ask for. 

In the corner of my eye, I think I see Craig blushing, and a smile forming on his face.

Super Craig: If you’re going to thank anyone, thank Kenny.

Mosquito: So what are we all talking about!?

Shit, I was texting on the group chat. Oh well.

Tupperware: I swear to god, you guys need to stop using this as your diary. 

This Year-  
Craig’s fabulous plan of action takes place tomorrow. Shit, I still can’t believe that people actually show up at the cafe now, business is booming. Want to know the reason why?

The Yaoi pictures are back. And they are much more explicit. People are showing up and buying everything. For every moment Craig touches my face, one person buys ten large cups of coffee, and everytime he makes me blush, they buy twenty. Wendy and Bebe are getting paid way too much now. At least I’m helping Wendy and her issues even though I hear about them way too often. Gah, I don’t even want to know the shit she does with Cartman.  
But really though, I don’t really pay that much attention to Craig anymore. All I’m feeling from him are erections, not the butterflies in your stomach, not the spark, nothing emotional.   
“I don’t know about you guys, but Craig needs to step up his game.” Bebe tells me as she makes Jimmy and Red a drink. “It’s not amusing to see him creep on your ass Tweek. Speaking of your ass, you’ve got one Tweek!” She says with a wink.  
“Gah, I’m not paying you to stare at my ass Bebe, if you’re going to be unproductive, go take a nap in the back or something.”   
“Hey, you’re the boss around here.” Bebe hands me Red’s coffee to finish for her, and she takes a blanket from a cupboard and heads to the back.   
“If all she’s going is taking a nap, then can I just have her job?” Red asks, “Don’t worry, I won’t be driving a truck and crashing any parties again.” I give her a slight smile and nod to her.   
“Gee T-t-t-tweek, it sure looks like business is b-b-booming. I’m happy that you’re not acting like a total assh-h-hat.” I roll my eyes at Jimmy, but he’s right. I told myself this last year, I remember that day. Gah, Craig freaking kissed me that day. I don’t remember if I felt butterflies or not, whatever, it isn’t like it’s relevant. I look outside, and see Wendy walking in the cafe. What the hell, it’s not her shift.   
Oh yeah, back to Wendy’s fucking drama, you can’t live unless you get your daily dose of it. 

Long story short, Wendy choses Cartman.   
“Hah, fuck you Stan, she loves me!”  
“You know what Wendy! Screw you bitch, I don’t need you!”  
“Stan, don’t be a jerk right now, this isn’t the first time I’ve broken up with you!”  
“Well you know what, don’t come running back to me once you get annoyed with his xenophobic bullshit!” Yeah, I don’t really like talking to Stan all that much. Gah, I need coffee. 

I pour myself a mint mojito from the pot. 

Shit, it’s not sweet and creamy.

I’ll just add the cream.

Shit, too much cream.

Damn it, it overflowed.

It’s on the counter.

I’ll just slurp it off the counter.

Mmm, coffee. 

“Hey Tweek- what are you doing and why is Red behind the counter?” I quickly turn around, and the three of them are looking at me like I’m some insane person.   
“Don’t fucking judge me. My coffee overflowed and Bebe’s taking a nap in the back.” Red rolls her eyes and wipes some of the mugs dry.   
“Oh, Bebe. Anyways,” Wendy placed a plastic bag on the counter next to Jimmy. “Let’s have ice cream. Here Tweek, I know how much you love the coffee flavored one.” She hands me a pint of coffee ice cream, and I get spoons out for everyone. Yes! Ice Cream! “I’m guessing you all know why I’m here?”  
“Wendy this isn’t a bar, it’s a cafe. But since you brought ice cream, I’ll let it slide just this once.” Red says, taking a spoonful of Green Tea in her mouth.   
“Well would you rather here Bebe’s issues with Clyde, Kyle’s issues with Stan, or Token’s issues with Clyde? Damn, Clyde needs to get his shit together.” Wendy says.   
“In all honest-t-ty, I would much rather hear Tweek’s issues with C-c-Craig.” Fuck, I don’t want to talk about my feelings!  
“Tweeks feelings it is!” Wendy grins at me, and Red leans in closer to hear all the shit I have to say about her cousin.   
“What was Craig’s surprise for you?” Red asks, “Was it his dick?”  
“Gah! No!” I yell, stuffing some ice cream in my mouth to cool down my heating face.   
“Just as long as you’re all using protection, then I’m ok with it.”  
“Gah, ok, I’ll tell you guys. Craig just wanted to…” I feel a smile forming on my face, and butterflies forming inside. Ok, what Craig really wanted to do was take me to the city as an I’m sorry present. In reality though, he probably just wants to take me there so he can rape me or something, but he wouldn’t do that to me. Right? “... Craig just wanted to do something with me, like take me out to dinner or something as a way of saying sorry. He said that he wanted to talk about everything and start our friendship over.” Wendy and Red squealed in delight and squeezed eachothers hands. Jimmy grinned at nods at me with approval.   
“He wants more than to start over…” I hear Wendy whisper to Red. I roll my eyes as both of them squeal, and Jimmy rolls his eyes and drinks his coffee.  
“Anyways, Craig said that he wanted to just talk over dinner or something, I don’t know, he’s probably going to pull some shit on me or something.”   
Gah, what am I getting myself into?


	11. WOOP!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lol I'm back

This Chapter  
Last year-

You know those stupid teenager movies on Disney Channel? You know, the ones where two teenagers stumble on the set of some upcoming movie on the beach, High School Musical, you know, those shit? Yeah, that’s what’s happening right now.

A fucking Disney Channel original movie meant for teenagers. Gah, I can’t take this, I want to leave, I don’t have coffee, I think I’m about to have an anxiety attack, there’s too much people… It’s too much pressure!   
How is it a Disney Channel original movie? Well, you know that OneRepublic song that was popular a couple of years ago, “Feel Again”? You know how there was a million of lights in that song while he was singing or something? Yeah, that’s it, there’s a million of fucking lights all over the area and it makes me feel like I’m in a Disney Channel Original Movie.   
“Tweek, why are you staring at the whole thing like a dumbass?” Craig asks, looking down on me with his towering pressence.   
“Because it’s beautiful.” I feel like a moth right now, it’s so magical! There’s so many lights hung all over Stark’s pond, everyone’s drinking, smoking, having a snowball fight, building snowmen, whatever the fuck they want, I’m in a winter fucking wonderland! Even through all of this, I can’t help but feel Craig staring at me from behind like a creep… Whatever, there’s snow that needs to be played with, and I love SNOW!!! INEEDCOFFEE!!!

I run over to a secluded area where I can get a better view of everyone. Yes… Seclusion is beautiful. I run my hands through the snow over my gloves, the cold feels great, it’s soothing, almost comforting in a weird way. From where I’m sitting at, Stan’s really fucking drunk right now and flirting with Kyle like he own’s him. Wait, is Wendy still dating Stan? Shoot, I don’t know. I don’t care about the drama anymore, I’m too happy to just sit under all these lights, so many colors, it reflects perfectly on the snow, and I feel like I’m at heaven’s gate or something. Not the cult, but actual heaven. It’s a shame I don’t really believe in God anymore, but I feel like I’m being reborn under a rainbow or something.   
The people around me are laughing, either laughing drunk or just pure laughter. It’s beautiful, why haven’t I seen this before? How often do they do stuff like this? Where have I been all this time? Don’t tell me the whole school actually cares about the guy they label as mental, and they just decided to throw a huge party just for him.  
“Hey Tweekers.” I look up, and Craig is once again towering over me. I motion him to sit next to me on the snow, invite him to stare at everyone from afar. “So, do you regret coming out of bed?”  
“Gah, not anymore.” I smile at him, a genuine smile. It feels good to be smiling again, especially to something that you really care about. “I’m sorry I avoided you this whole time.”  
“It’s not your fault, though I wish you weren’t being an ass and actually responded to my texts.” I awkwardly laugh, and place my hand behind my head.  
“Want something to drink?”  
“No, they probably spiked it with crystal meth or something.” Craig rolls his eyes, and moves closer to me. I can feel his warmth on my side, and his hand is so close to my own.   
“It’s great to see you smile.” He says. Wow, Craig talking about his feelings, that’s a shocker. Wait a minute, it’s great to see me smile? He’s probably had a bit too much to drink. I stand up, and brush the snow off my jeans.   
“I’m going to get some food. Want anything?”  
“I’ll just go with you, I think Clyde’s trying to find me so he can cry drunk.” 

The food at the table’s just chips, salsa, and some other finger foods. Not sure what I was expecting, it is a party held by teenagers. I grab a plate and stuff as much chips as I can. As I’m pouring chips, I can’t help but feeling… Everyone else around me is drunk already. I look up, and what a surprise, Stan is still flirting with Kyle.  
“Kyle… Kyle… I love you…” He says to his best friend. Kyle’s just sitting on a table not too far from where I’m at right now, and I can tell that he’s over Stan’s drunk bullshit. “Come on Kyle… You stupid cutey, talk to me!”  
“Stan no, you’re drunk, you don’t actually see me that way...”   
“But I love you, I fucking love you Kyle, why don’t you believe me? I know I’m dating Wendy but we both know she’s not the one I want in bed next to me…” I see Stan’s hand maneuver his way to Kyle’s crotch. Kyle sighs, and throws Stan’s hand away from him. After Stan tries to grope his best friend one more time, Kyle sighs, and throws Stan to the ground. Talk about dysfunctional. These chips are stale…   
I decide to move around the place a bit, and do some people watching. I think Craig’s getting drunk somewhere and is looking for me to get drunk with him… I don’t really drink.

The next group I come across is Kenny and Butters, casually making out on the snow with Kenny’s parka fully off. Great.

Clyde is now sucking on Token’s neck, Bebe’s taking pictures of them with Nicole and Red.

Stan is still trying to “love” Kyle. 

Cartman and Wendy are actually not drunk and having a casual, healthy conversation. That’s a lie, they never have casual, healthy, functional conversations. I think they’re drunk?

Everyone’s drunk, everyone has someone else. Whatever, I have a beautiful scenery and food, and that beats relationships any day.   
“Hey Tweek!” I turn around, and who else would bother to talk to me, Craig fucking Tucker. “Having fun?”  
“I always have fun if there’s food involved. I would’ve had more fun if there’s actual coffee here and not fucking Folgers.” Craig shakes his head, and motions me to walk around the area with him.   
We reach a forest that I don’t really go to often, only when I need to pretend that I’m Pocahontas and need to be in even more isolation than I already am, but I guess I can share my wonderful isolated experiences with Craig I guess.   
“So…”  
“So?” I ask. Craig stops walking, and turns to me. We’re so close, I can feel his warm breath heating up my skin. Ugh, I hate alcohol.  
“Tweek, you know I’m not the type of person to talk about my feelings, right? Only if it’s with… Well, you.”  
“Not even Token and Clyde?”  
“No.” What the hell is going on right now? It’s three in the morning and I need to sleep, I’m getting really delirious.   
“You know what Craig,” I turn around, and stare at the empty darkness in the snow. It’s so quiet here, so peaceful. No lights, no laughter, no humans, just us. “I feel kind of bad sometimes when I’m with you. I feel like you always baby me sometimes, like I’m taking away your time and energy on something that doesn’t even need your attention.” I turn around, and Craig’s frowning.  
“Dude, you already know that the things I put energy into are things that I actually care about. Come on Tweekers, you know me already. I maybe an ass to everyone, but to me, you’re a different case.” What the hell is talking about?  
“Is it because I may or may not be slightly schizophrenic?”  
“What the fuck? No, mental disorders aside. Ok, think about for a sec, if I treat everyone like an ass, and that’s how I treat everyone equally, except Stan, fuck him, and I treat Clyde and Token only slightly better than everyone else, and I treat you like an actual human being, what do you think that makes you?” I can’t really tell what’s going on right now, I need sleep. Wait a minute, I don’t remember if I drank the punch or not… Fuck, I might be drunk, or I might just be sleepy.   
“That makes me better than the average human?” I ask. Craig groans, and rubs his face in frustration.   
“No Tweek, that doesn’t make you… Oh for christ sakes.”   
“CRAIGWHATTHEHELLAREYOUDOINGGETTINGTHATCLOSETOMELIKETHIS??!!”  
“Tweek, just shut up.” Craig backs me up against a tree, his muscular arms wrapped around me, not too tightly, like I’m something delicate, something that needs to be taken care of, like he cares about me, like Craig needs to take care of me. Our crotches are touching, are chests are touching, and his face is so close to mine. I can feel my eyes widen as his face gets closer to me, and our lips touching.

All before the sound of a truck honks it’s horns, and I find myself under two fallen trees with a branch impaling my arm.


	12. New Chapter.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek finds himself reminiscing on every bullshit thing. Craig reveals a lie. White liquid flies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lool I'm back with a short chapter.

This year:  
Shit, I don’t know what to wear! What if he ends up showing up in his birthday suit and ends up wanting to do me in the backseat of the car!? Should I even wear underwear? I don’t have any type of underwear that says I’m ready for sex! OH GOD OF JESUS!!!  
Wait, I’m over thinking this. I don’t even want to do this, I’m only doing this to set Craig down and say that I’m only willing to be friends with him, and that his weird out of character attempts to get into my pants are never going to happen.  
I look at myself in the mirror, observing what I am right now. No more crystal meth in my coffee, my parents are officially gone, I’m almost 18, I have a plan after high school, I have my life put together than most other people, and that’s saying something, coming from me! The scars on my wrist from Middle School will always be there, but I’ve grown past that. I still have anxiety, irrational thoughts, I’m socially awkward, and everything still scares me, but I managed to get pass a lot of shit in my life.  
When those yaoi pictures happened in Elementary, Craig was saying how much of a strong person I was, that I was stronger than most other people in South Park. Looking back at that now, I think he was right.

I fucking stabbed Cartman in the neck with a plastic Butter Knife.

Red ran me over with a truck.

A tree branch impaled me.

Craig embarrassed me after my recovery which in turn made me hate him for life…   
But not anymore. Shit, I’m a terrible person. I’ve been pushing away for so long, that I forgot that it was partly my fault also. Even though we all had a part in this, and I ended up the victim, I could have done things that prevented this. I’m not angry at myself though, and I won’t act like a victim, it’s all in the past. 

And now my life is happening. Tweek Tweak isn’t a helpless spaz anymore, I don’t want anyone to go away by pushing them anymore.   
Gah, I think I had too much coffee. I’m still going through crystal meth withdrawal, it’s not a fun process to recover from addiction, but I’ll get there. 

I hear a knock outside of my door, Craig’s holding a box and flowers. He’s dressed so nice. In Craig fashion, he’s sooo hot. I think I’m doing the right thing by going out with him.   
And for the first time in a while, I find myself smiling because of a good happening. 

I open the door, and see Craig smiling at me, looking down on my smaller figure.  
“Don’t worry, I’m passed trying to get closer to you through unconventional means and acting like a perv. I can’t believe Kenny can do that 24/7” He smiles at me, it’s so rare to see the famous Craig Tucker smile.   
“Oh I won’t, I had a feeling you were just desperate.” Craig rolls his eyes, and I let himself in the house. “Craig, there’s something I want to ask you before we go.”  
“Oh? And what would that be?”  
“I mean, we’re almost done with High School now, you’re going off to California to study Biology in Berkley. Everyone’s going to move on soon. I’m staying in Community to get my life together, and before we know it, you’ll be leaving. I want to know what you want to come out of today.” Oh god, I practiced saying that ten times in front of the mirror in my bathroom, it sounded way better in my head! Craig hands me the box, and sits down on the recliner across from where I’m standing.   
“I’ve been thinking the same thing Tweek. I don’t want all this drama to carry with me into adulthood. I mean, I’m still going to be an ass to everyone and flip everyone off, but the drama between you and me.” Craig sighs and rubs the back of his head. “Shit, this is hard to talk about…” I laugh and sit down on the couch, taking a bite from my Lavender Ice Cream.   
“I practiced saying what I said earlier at least ten times.”  
“Me too. Anyways, what I want to come out of today is to at least be able to talk to you on a day to day basis, weather I’m your boyfriend or not.” I smile at him, and put my cup on the table.  
“I want that too.” Craig smirks, and ruffles his hair a bit.  
“And if things go right, R.R and chill?”   
“Fuck yeah.”  
“Wai- wai- wait, you know I mean like sex, right?”  
“Yes, I know you mean sex, I’m not dumb Craig.” His face reddens and I can see his hands fidget underneath his hat.   
“Wait really?”  
“Yes, I am willing to have makeup sex with you by the end of the day if this all goes well.”  
“Oh shit-”  
“Wait, are you nervous?”  
“When was the last time you’ve seen me nervous?”  
“Craig, I get that you're the stoic soldier or whatever but that doesn’t mean you can’t have emotions. I know you're a virgin, I’m a virgin, we’re all virgins! I swear to god, if you don’t use a condom I’m never speaking to you again.”  
“Shut up Tweekers, let’s just get food. I know a great place in Denver that has gourmet coffee- non crystal meth edition!”  
“Shut up and get in the car.”   
Yup, definitely made the right decision this time. 

Long story short, I do end up in bed with him in a hotel room Craig and I split. I stare at the ceiling, panting my ass off as I snuggle next to him.   
“You have a nice ass.” He says, groping me. Gah, this is embarrassing.   
“You have a big dick, and you are one. I can’t believe I fell off the bed while you were doing me.”  
“Shut up and cuddle with me.”  
“Wait so like,” I say, staring at his fantastic body, “You saw Wendy and Cartman having sex in the public bathroom at the pond?”  
“Don’t ask why or what happened, it just did.”  
“Damn. I want that image out of my head.” I say, reaching over for my coffee. “Wait, so what are we?”  
“You’re my boyfriend.”  
“Ok, I still expect dinner after this though.”  
“Of course we’re getting Dinner still, I’m fucking starving.”


	13. This chapter.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beep... Beep... Beep...

Chapter: Posted August 14, 2017, 11:30 PM Pacific Time Zone 

Last year  
I’ve never felt… Nothing. I feel nothing. Is this what a sociopath feels? I can’t even work the energy to lift a muscle… All I hear are the sounds of everyone yelling… Who is everyone?

I hear Red screaming incoherent things…

Clyde is sobbing… 

Craig is punching someone… 

Stan is punching someone… 

Ok, it’s obvious they’re fighting. But… 

Wendy is sobbing… 

Token is yelling at everyone to calm down. 

How can they calm down? What’s even going on? 

I hear everything, but my surroundings are so dark, like black coffee…

Red: I’M SORRY CRAIG-

Craig: WHATTHEACTUALFUCK!!! Back the fuck off Marsh-

Stan: You were the one that fucking hit me first asshole!

Kyle: Stan just back off, it’s not worth it!!! 

Token: Everyone here needs to calm down!

Red: Craig! Craig please just stop for a moment-

Craig: Red! You don’t get a fucking say in this you piece of-

Wendy: Woah, woah, woah, Craig, I know that you’re upset right now, but trying to beat the shit out of two different people isn’t going to help anything!

Craig: It was her! She fucking rammed the truck into us and now Tweek got a damn tree branch stuck to his arm and he’s in a coma!!! Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kick her bitch ass to hell!!!

Stan: You can’t hit a fucking girl dude, if anything, beat me up so I can have a reason to BEATTHESHITOUTOFYOUYAASSHOLE!!!

Token: Kenny restrain him!

Kenny: Fuck this shit, I’m getting Butters out of here!

Bebe: Oh no you don’t, everyone here fucked up, no one is leaving until we figure out what the hell happened!!!

Wendy: Fuck my life, I’m not getting accepted into-

Stan: Wendy, this isn’t about you right now-

Cartman: Dude, back off, just let her-

Stan: Oh, so now you decide to care about her? Really dude? After you-

Token: EVERYONE HERE CALM THE FUCK DOWN!!! Look, just sit down, and try not to kill each other. Use the bathroom, get food, drink water, I don’t give a shit, but everyone yelling at the same time isn’t going to help anyone! Look, the police aren’t going to do anything about this, they don’t want Tweek’s accident on the news to make South Park look more safe. 

Craig: So what the fuck do we do, just let this asshole walk free-

Red: CRAIG!!!

Token: All I’m saying is that we all need to calm down!!!

Clyde: *Incoherent sobs*

Token: Look, just calm down, sit down, I don’t give a shit. I’ll get us all water. Clyde, shh, it’s ok… Just come on.

Cartman: Fags.

Token: Cartman you son of a-

Craig: I’ll just get the water, I need air.

Token: Yeah, you do that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't get it, Tweek's in a coma.


	14. This chapter.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek reflects life in South Park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Not that sorry for the late update, I would rather post something I knew in advance and planned out well rather than take shit from my ass. I’ll try not to let this happen again, so here it is.)

Staying in Denver with Craig was fucking fantastic. I couldn’t believe that I managed to open up (No sexual pun intended) to him again. And not just Craig, I managed to hold a conversation with pretty much everyone I talk to. When we got back to South Park, it was like everything changed, like we stepped into a time warp or something. And thankfully, it was for the better within the next span of five months. 

Here’s how it went down:

The cafe is fully and legally under my name. I won’t be going off to university like almost everyone else when we all graduate, but I’ll be at the cafe running it. That’s where I’m most happiest anyways, and I decided to go to community college to figure out my the future without the added stress university puts on you.  
After a long legal battle during four of the five months, I have legally emancipated from what used to be my parents. I know, I said I did that awhile ago, but apparently there were a few things the agents didn’t have me sign. Richard and Martha Tweak are no longer my parents legally, and I legally now own the house. Speaking of mom and dad, they are currently serving twenty to life in federal prison without the possibility of parole, and all of their bank assets are now used to treat the citizens of South Park from crystal meth addiction.  
Also, apparently almost all of the small businesses in South Park have been in cahoots with the crystal meth scandal, and the owners are now being sued and imprisoned. With no one left to run them, South Park was looking at a massive financial set back. I was the only business owner left, so I stepped in and ran everything until they found suitable owners to buy the businesses. Guess who’s almost a millionaire before the age of eighteen? 

After it was found out that it was Red that ran me over, the police immediately charged her with reckless driving under the influence. However, I’ve learned to forgive and not chase people away. I paid her bail and managed to get her out of legal trouble and cleared her records. I know, it’s stupid of me to do that, but I didn’t want bad blood between me and anyone anymore. Red is now looking to become a lawyer and looks forward to studying at UCLA after transferring there. 

Wendy’s financial issues with her family cleared when the crystal meth scandal was brought down. She never forgave Stan for their dysfunctional relationship, but she went through therapy to deal with her issues for a more formal matter. Interestingly, she stayed with Cartman this whole time, and the two are looking forward to staying in touch when she goes to University. She also managed to get not only out of South Park, but Colorado. She’ll be attending Princeton in the fall of next year and studying Political Science.

Stan eventually came to his senses about his feelings on Kyle and told him in the most sexual way possible by having a week long sexathon. However, the road wasn’t the best at all. He and Cartman no longer speak to each other, and he still has this weird rivalry with Craig. After many attempts in getting Wendy to talk to him, he finally gave up in trying to get her to forgive him. He’ll be attending Colorado State University to study Engineering in the fall of next year. 

Bebe managed to acquire a vast amount of money from working in the coffee shop (Not sure how since she didn’t do anything). After taking many community college classes during her Junior and Senior year of High School (no one knew she was doing that either!) She has acquired Junior Standing at Princeton also, choosing to follow Wendy. She rejected Clyde many times throughout the years, but eventually assisted Token in admitting his feelings for him. I’m planning on partnering up with Bebe so she can take over the businesses in the area after she gets her dual degree in Business and Accounting. 

Kyle basically never left Stan’s side and finally ditched Cartman’s bullshit after all these years. After realizing that Colorado isn’t the place for him, he decided to hightail his ass over to California at U.C Berkeley to study medicine. Even though they kept in touch, they decided to take a break from their relationship. Even though he still has family here, Kyle never looked back from South Park, only to visit Kenny, Butters, his family, and Stan. Stan plans on proposing to him the next time he visits South Park. 

Kenny decided to not go to University, even though he received a shit ton of financial aid and even a FREE ride to CSU. He’s attending community college and is looking forward to gaining legal custody over Karen after his mom O.D’d on alcohol and died and his dad and brother getting arrested. He currently lives with Butters and Karen at a pretty nice apartment complex in the city and plans on transferring with Butters as far away from South Park as possible. 

Speaking of Butters, he finally got away from his family too, though he was disowned by his entire family during the process. Interestingly enough, it was him that dropped the question to Kenny. Butters even changed his name to Leopold “Butters” McCormick. The two plan on having the ceremony in years time after the couple are financially stable and get Karen into University herself.

Jimmy disappeared from South Park during the five years time, though we all gained contact with him and found out his family moved to Oregon to get away from the crystal meth scandal. Even though we haven’t heard much, we now know he’s a VERY successful comedian, doing multiple gigs both big and small, and is getting his degree in Communications at Southern Oregon University. Jimmy never plans on going back to South Park. 

Cartman himself even left South Park, never looking back, not even for his mother. After deciding on what to do with his life and taking it seriously, he decided to buy out various casinos in vegas and draw money out of people’s bank accounts after somehow acquiring all that money (Probably crystal meth related). He never speaks to anyone but Wendy anymore, and he’s planning to drop the question soon, but not until Wendy drops the question first. Wonder who’ll get to it first? 

Even though it was never official, Clyde basically married Token after a couple of months of me returning to South Park from Denver with Craig. He got his shit together, passing all his classes and even got into CSU, even though he still has no idea what he’s doing. He’s holding down a job and classes at the same time, and doesn’t go to wild parties anymore, which kind of scares me how much he’s changed. The five of us shoot the shit from time to time, but it isn’t the same anymore. 

Token unfortunately left Clyde after getting into U.C Davis and dual majored in Biology and Math, and is looking forward to medical school to become a brain surgeon (I told him to have fun on that one). Like most of us, he never looked back from South Park, only to visit friends and family quite frequently. Like I said before, he, Craig, me, Clyde, and Jimmy still get together from time to time, but like I also said, it isn’t the same anymore. However, he does want to rekindle the relationship after somehow getting Kevin out of the way first. 

As for Craig, he contemplated on leaving South Park for a long time, mostly because of his sister and me. After numerous days of convincing him to pack his stuff and leave, he decided to go to MIT to study Physics to have a taste of his childhood dream of becoming Spaceman Craig (Yeah, he’s secretly really smart, but personally, I think he made up a sob story about him being gay and an unreal story about his adventure coming to terms with it on his personal statement). We still held onto the relationship, even though he was far away. It sucked not having him around for so long, even when he visited. I contemplated breaking up, but you can’t break up with someone if you’ve known them since childhood. 

And now we go back to me. I’ve pushed people away on two important years of my life, and I hope you don’t. I learned that we all need people, even though they all suck, we need to find the right ones.  
Before the day everyone left South Park, we all got together one last time at the cafe. It was bittersweet, a long time coming. It was different, we were all different, we weren’t kids anymore. The air wasn’t the same, even though we’ve all known each other in this small town for ages. 

It sucked not having Cartman doing his typical schemes.

It sucked when Craig and Stan weren’t fighting over rivalry and masculinity or something.

It sucked when Clyde wasn’t sobbing.

It sucked whenever Wendy wouldn’t talk about her issues. 

It sucked when Kyle wouldn’t yell at everyone for being stupid.

It sucked even more though when I pushed everyone away all those years ago.

That was the last time we all sat in the cafe, and I still have the group picture on the wall.

Even when I look at it, I manage to remember all the bullshit we all did in South Park, but I’m happy for them that they aren’t here anymore.  
But I’ve been screwing up in South Park for so long, I think it’s time for me to change it myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, that ended abruptly... Not. Not sure if this is the last chapter though. Also, I can't take that note from many chapter ago out, laptops being stupid.

**Author's Note:**

> Lol who was the one driving the truck? You already know.


End file.
